just another artist

C'est would be bon: a little difference of opinion

2012-01-28T17:32:00.000-05:00

Art courtesy iTunes.

Fascinated with Yves Montand's singing, I purchased C'est si bon for it's classic lilting melody and Yves classic presentation. I first heard him late in his life when he sang with and to Barbara Streisand in "On a Clear Day You Can See Forever." If I had heard him younger (and when I was younger), I would have been a great fan.

I looked up the lyrics and apparently there's some sort of conflict about the official lyrics and their translation. The lyrics Yves sings match the song I purchased. It's lovely poetry in appreciation of women and their effect on a man in love. Quite lovely. My amateur word-for-word translation is:

It is so good

I don’t know if there is anything more beautiful.

If there is, it’s not for me.

Love is really all the joy of the world.

My life begins as soon as I feel it.

And I say, “Oh!”

And I say, “Ah!”

Love is so good,

Nothing can make me leave.

One arm above, One arm below,

Singing songs.

They are so good,

those sweet little nothings

That say so much.

Seeing us so delighted

Passersby in the street envy us.

It is so good

to watch for that marvelous hope in her eyes

that gives me shivers.

They are so good

These little feelings.

Better than a million [dollars]

So much, so many, so very good.

You can guess at this happiness which is ours,

And if I love, you understand why.

It makes me drunk and

I want no other

Because all women everywhere are in this one woman.

And I say, “Oh!”

And I say, “Ah!”

It is so good,

Being able to embrace it and

to start with the least little occasion.

They are so good,

to play piano

All the way along one’s back

While we dance.

The allure is amazing.

I can’t speak of it without saying

They are so good.

When I hold her in my arms,

I have to say all that.

Love is with me forever.

It is so good.

And if we are crazy

It is because it is so good.

Because it is so good.

Since the "it" referred to as "so good" (C'est Si Bon - It is so Good) becomes a sort of nebulous referent, I changed the italicized words to make the referent concrete.

Art courtesy iTunes.

Now, the conflict comes in with this page (with misspellings) which shows different lyrics in both the French and English versions with a more monetary meaning. I have to believe these are bogus lyrics because they have little to do with Yves' sung version in the 1950's. In fact, when Eartha Kitt and Barbra Streisand sing the lyrics, they only sing the first half of the song which is the unmangled part. Dean Martin has his own version, as well, which also leaves out the wishes for a rich woman.

It's just crazy! I've no idea why someone added in those strange lyrics about finding a wealthy woman, replacing the wonderfulness of a woman in love and the references to love's buoyant effects. Perhaps due to the lack of instant communication we have now or the strange way that copyright was enforced. Or perhaps Andre Homez's real lyrics were about finding a rich woman ... but I don't believe it.

Anyway, it's there for your consideration. I hope you find it worthwhile.
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Song of the Day: C'est si bon - À Paris

Reluctant Endorsement of Horror

2012-01-20T16:47:00.000-05:00

He looks nothing like Viggo! Excellent!
(not that Viggo's bad looking or anything ...)

One night (a couple weeks ago) I couldn't sleep. I reached over, unslept (unsleeped?) the iPhone, and dialed up the PBS app. There wasn't anything on Masterpiece I felt like watching, so I scrolled down to this program called Tavis Smiley. Turns out Tavis is a real man (as opposed to the main character in a show) and an excellent interviewer who talked to David Cronenberg about "A Dangerous Method."

Awhile back I gave up on the whole Cronenberg/Mortenson duo. "A History of Violence" followed by "Eastern Promises" was too much violence for me. However, I still have a solid respect for Cronenberg as director, so I watched the Tavis interview.

A bit of the slanted distorted face jiggle. And good job
getting a smoker to play a man with a cigar.

During the dialogue they showed clips from "A Dangerous Method." I knew Viggo was involved and yet as I watched the clip I didn't recognize him until he did that characteristic distorted face jiggle. And it was right in character! Not only was it in character, but he refined it to the point that you just know Freud had that mannerism. He did such a fine job in that clip that I am now looking for a volunteer to go to the movie with me. I need someone to text me when the voyeuristic sex scene is over so I can enjoy the rest of the show. (I hope that's the only land mine.)

Another good interview with Cronenberg is the one with Elvis MItchell on KCRW's podcast The Treatment. Also, a nice companion interview (since we're into horror now) is Elvis's talk with John Landis about Monsters in the Movies. Which can take you (as it took me) to the book. And in the book is another interview with Cronenberg by John Landis. It's a good book full of pictures of monsters and interviews with horror's major creators.

Although I don't mind a touch of horror, like the way Neil Gaiman uses it, I don't like horror for horror's sake. After watching "Aliens" I swore off for good. Well, until Viggo came along. I'm still off horror and still into good acting, so if you'd like to volunteer to be my censor for Cronenberg's latest, leave a comment and we'll work something out.

Where is here?

2012-01-11T17:58:00.000-05:00

"X" marks the spot.

While meditating one day I kept bringing myself back to the present, to my breath, by telling myself "Be here." or "Come back here." and "Welcome back!" And then I thought, "I am here." I'm here physically. Sometimes I'm elsewhere mentally, yet when I am "elsewhere" I am "here" in the thought. And then wondered where "here" really is.

Is here where my physical body resides? Yes. Is here where my mind is? Yes. Especially when I'm meditating because when I'm sitting in a chair and following my breath the only way to go anywhere is in my mind. Which brings me to my emotional state.

At some point I have to acknowledge my emotional state while I'm meditating. Because there always is one. The way I'm feeling influences where I go mentally and how difficult it is to stay present. And that's another place, another "here."

When I'm reading a book or watching a movie, particularly a engaging fantasy, I'm somewhere else entirely. Which is here and not here. Dreaming is another state that puts me in a dualistic "here."

There's also the parallel, tangental, and intersecting universes that spread out from where I am, spread out in mind and body and spirit. And spirit is another way to be "here."

For me, here is anywhere my awareness resides. I've kinda decided where "here" is can't be determined and doesn't really matter.

Where is "here" for you?

Start anytime. Start now.

2012-01-04T21:52:00.001-05:00

You can start a new life anytime. You can begin right now, where you are, without any special knowledge or materials.

Pay attention to your breath. Become still and focus on your breathing. Experience the air entering and leaving your body. Do this as long as you can, whenever you can. I've done it while driving, while getting my blood pressure tested, and during meditation. This deceptively simple process can bring big changes.
Turn off the labels. Stop labeling everything you see. Try walking and looking at your surroundings nonverbally, without having a running dialogue. Experience everything as if it had no name. As if you were a child who did not know what the names are. The label dampens experience and limits your awareness to a circumscribed level.
Meditate. The simplest form of meditation is to sit comfortably, soften your gaze, and focus on the out breath. That's all there is to it. This is good practice for everyday living because it will heighten your awareness.
Accept what is. Whatever is happening now, wherever you are, wether alone or with someone, you are exactly where you are meant to be. See your current circumstances as a gift. Embrace the universe. Stop and look around. See your reflection in the computer monitor, notice the dust being blown by the heating system, smell the odor of your space, hear the wind rushing through the trees, feel your skin holding in your intestines.
Release your expectations. Expectations, like words, limit your experience. You will only see what you expect to see. What if you had no expectations, were not attached to any particular outcome? How would your situation change?

You can do any of these practices almost anywhere, almost any time. They are simple and free. You don't need a new year or a Monday to begin.

Start now.

Winter Break

2011-12-17T13:24:00.000-05:00

Clean kitchen! A sure sign that
National Novel Writing Month
is long past.

So here I am, at 70,213 words and the end of the story remains elusive. I might I have missed it, as I discovered when rereading my 2009 NaNo novel. However, I feel like the ending will show up in the next 2000 words. More or less. I thought I had an ending and I do have some background that hasn't made it into the novel—not that it has to. Background is always good for more story, whether in the current novel or one yet to be written. It all goes around and comes around, sort of like karma, and in a good way.

I have decided to keep to my promise to stop at 70K and take a break until after January first. Then I will start at the beginning with the swooping process, clearing up as I go. When I get to the end, there should be one. heh heh

Happy Holidays, ya'll!
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"Uncle Tauber's Trunk" A retired writer and a CIA profiler riddle out the secrets of the contents of an old German trunk.
Statistics
Total Words Written: 70,213
Daily Word Count Goal: 2000
Words written today: 0 (have reached goal of 70K)

Wearing my Santa hat while floating in an earlier version
of Inspire Space Park in Shinda in Second Life.

Still Writing

2011-12-14T17:19:00.000-05:00

Winding up and along toward the ending I thought I would get to. However, stuff I hadn't thought about is still happening and the characters continue to surprise and entertain me. This bodes well for the novel. Finishing up is a little holiday present for me. It's not all peaches and cream, but it is getting done. And I'm still getting the happy effects from working and writing.
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"Uncle Tauber's Trunk" A retired writer and a CIA profiler riddle out the secrets of the contents of an old German trunk.
Statistics
Total Words Written: 68,462
Daily Word Count Goal: 2000
Words written today: 2301

Along the Road to the End ... of the Novel

2011-12-10T12:02:00.001-05:00

No pirates are involved.

Yet another stopper/road block along the way to completed noveldom. I know what happens next. Yes, I have arrived at that point in the plot where the twistings and turnings have led to a rough ending. I could, if I chose, make more than one end—anyone with an imagination could. However, I have a favorite ending and I'll be writing that one, more or less.

This knowing—that I have things wrapped up and it's all done except for the scribbling and bibbling—is a stopper. Because I actually enjoy writing the story. Which is a little shocking when I look at my process and see all the effort that goes in to getting started.

That's deceiving, that effort. It leads me to believe I don't like writing when, in fact, I do which I confirm each time I start typing. I keep hoping one day sitting down to write will be effortless. Probably an unrealistic expectation. I thought that once I knew what would happen I would be drawn along and have a full day (or at least four to six hours) of mad writing to the exciting conclusion.

The excitement is at the beginning and middle. Not at the end. I like writing without knowing what's going to happen next. That's the adventure. That's the fun of it all.

I know I will write again. It's not like this is the last story I'll ever write. I am, however, attached to this story and want it to go on forever. At the same time, I'm eager for the story to end so I can wrap it up and let my friends read it. And perhaps get it published. And then have, like, a job or something.

So, back to writing. The whole 2k per day thing didn't work out as planned, so I am going with Plan B: writing to 70K. Let you know how that works out.
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"Uncle Tauber's Trunk" A retired writer and a CIA profiler riddle out the secrets of the contents of an old German trunk.
Statistics
Total Words Written: 61,519
Daily Word Count Goal: 2000
Words written today: 288 (so far)

Post-NaNoWriMo Musings or Life Goes On

2011-12-01T17:29:00.001-05:00

I wrote a bit this morning. I have a goal of writing 2,000 words per day until and including the 10th. This will either get me to the end of the story or pretty close to it. If only close to it, I hope close enough to encourage me to finish before Christmas.

It's not the same, of course, as writing during NaNoWriMo. It's more serious when I'm not enjoying the insane company of others, even if only virtually. However, I have (again) concluded that this is my work and I am happier when I write. All is right with the universe when I'm working on a story.

I've learned about

ancient Celtic and Moroccan coins
the blue town of Chefchaouen
Numismatics (and how to spell it)
the proper care of old coins (don't clean them)
caves in the desert (even though I thought I made them up)
the three ways to properly perform a hajj

My progress over the month showing

daily word count relative to

suggested minimum.

Green is Good. Red is bad.

So, that's good. I've also learned that researching is part of the process more than it is a way to avoid writing. I would like to reread and collate chronologically all my NaNoWriMo posts over the years, to see how my process works exactly with a view to doing this on my own whether it's National Novel Writing Month or not.

I wish there was a National Art Making Month. I could use a boost in that area as well. I suspect there may be a National Poetry Writing Month. I think I saw something about it on twitter over the summer.

Well, one thing at a time. This month it's finishing my novel and this one seems especially suited to publication. But that's another goal.

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"Uncle Tauber's Trunk" A retired writer and a CIA profiler riddle out the secrets of the contents of an old German trunk.
Statistics
Total Words Written: 52,415
Daily Word Count Goal: 2000
Words written today: 2546

Novel Wordle

2011-11-30T23:56:00.001-05:00

Made it to 50+K this year without wordleing. So, in celebration, here it is!

"Back" is the troublesome word this year. With "looked" and "one" running a close second.
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"Uncle Tauber's Trunk" A retired writer and a CIA profiler riddle out the secrets of the contents of an old German trunk.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 50,000 words by midnight Nov. 30

Today's Total: 50,340 WINNER!

Written Today: 5,283

The Push and Pull of Process

2011-11-26T08:08:00.001-05:00

Push
Writer's block is unique for each writer. Some say it comes over you when you don't know what happens next. For me, knowing what happens next can be a block because why write it down when I know what happens next? I can wander around fantasizing about what happens next and be perfectly content that I have story without writing. Once I write, the options are minimized. I like options. The way through this block is to push myself to write. This is easier when I have written nothing or very little the previous day.

This year I've discovered that when the story gets too personal I shut down. Being emotionally involved is a block. This explains my fascination with spirituality and philosophy. The only way to get through this block is to take off the girdle of expectations and free associate.

Those are conscious blocks. I participate in creating those blocks, so they aren't really blocks, they're avoidance. Genuine writer's block is when I don't realize I'm avoiding. It happens when I'm happily sweeping the floor while planning out yard work. When I gladly scrub the toilet or mend clothing. Basically, whenever I enjoy mundane, normally boring tasks I know I'm blocked. Because I'd rather do that than write. And I don't know I'm blocked until I notice how happy I am performing a boring, stupid chore. Although this is (for me) a subtle block, it is the easiest one to fix. All I have to do is sit down and write, which I am happy to do once I notice I'm avoiding. This kind of block generally happens after I hit 30K.

Pull
There are also release landmarks along the way, places where the progress pulls me onward. The beginning is usually the time I'm wide open. Zero to about 4k is the zooming zone. Around 5K I have a tendency to rest on my laurels, talk about my budding novel, and feel the first fears of novel development. Once I get to 20K I'm truly committed, a kind of insanity that makes me one with the noveling sorority. I've settled into the process which pulls me forward. At 30K I begin to feel it's all downhill from here. Probably because by this point I have some well-developed characters, most of a plot, and some interest in finding out what happens next. At 42K I am the Swami! I have licked the game and I'm on my way. Nothing can stop me from reaching 50K.

Once I get to week four, or 35K, (which would be this time of the month) the thought of not reaching 50K pulls me forward. I'm so addicted to completing tasks that I can't not meet the goal. I'm well on the way, can easily write a couple thousand words at a sitting, and the impending doom of not reaching 50K by the 30th pulls me forward. That and not wanting to tell everyone I did not finish this year. Because that would be so embarrassing!

This can also be the time of the month, as it is this year, when writing a post about the writing process impels me to write. It's like, oh, I don't know, taking a big drink of water before a hike or having a good breakfast before a hard day of work. Something like that. Anyway, it helps me get on with it and that's the whole gozornenplat. Or raison d'être. Or Hauptsache. Or ... gotta go!

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"Uncle Tauber's Trunk" A retired writer and a CIA profiler riddle out the secrets of the contents of an old German trunk.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 50,000 words by midnight Nov. 30

Today's Total: 35055

Written Today: 0 (haven't started yet - doing this first - but believe me, there will be words today!)

Sophomore Slump: Taking the Long Way

2011-11-14T09:03:00.001-05:00

I'm now at the novel-writing point where I get hung up in the tenses. I see that I have written most of the novel in first person (which I have never done before) past. First person aside, I tend to struggle a lot with whether to write something in the past or the present or even the present past (is that present perfect?). I wish I'd paid more attention in grammar class.

It's only in novel writing I get this way. In short pieces I have no problem on deciding the tense. It's kinda obvious.

At this stage I also have a lot of difficulty getting going. Basking in the glow of having started a novel makes it a lot harder to be motivated to continue. I'm so thrilled to have characters, a setting, the intimations of a plot, and thousands of words. I feel like I've arrived before I've finished.

The only solution is discipline—making myself sit down and write no matter what. Whether I know what I'm going to write or not (as if that mattered), whether I feel like it or not, and no matter how lovely it is outside or what strange housekeeping task needs to be performed. (There are none really. I live alone. Most tasks are either quickly done or optional.)

This is also the stage of the novel when I write silly posts in the blog (like today). Wasting time feeling productive instead of actually writing.

I also spend a lot of time "researching." And not just discovering actual facts which sometimes spur me to writing. Last night, for example, instead of writing I watched a movie. The movie was "The Long Way Home" with Jack Lemmon and Sarah Paulson. I called it research because the two main characters are similar to mine: a man old enough to be the woman's grandfather. I'm not sure what the possibilities are between such a couple, so I watched the movie.

Right. As if other possibilities matter when I sit down to write. Possibilities develop, don't cha know. I write in a way that the thing pretty much writes itself. Which means I write intuitively. It's messy. Then I go back and clean up.

Anyway, this is mostly drivel. The pure purpose of which is to get it out my head so I can get on with writing, which I will do now—once I've fed the dog, reviewed and published this post, and wandered out to the write-in I'm hosting at TaZa.

Work. Gotta love it.
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"Uncle Tauber's Trunk" An old man and a woman young enough to be his granddaughter riddle out the secrets of an old German trunk.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 50,000 words by midnight Nov. 30

Today's Total: 16,648

Written Today: 110

Falling into a Pattern

2011-11-05T20:23:00.001-04:00

When I wrote my first novel, I believed it would get easier in time. While the writing process itself has become easier, actual writing and getting the story to flow are still difficult. I now know, after six years, what to expect and what my pattern is when writing.

I know that the day after I write a lot I write hardly anything, if at all. Which is okay because I generally have only one zero-word day in a row. And I know I will catch up.

I know that by the end of the month I will be able to sit down and write 5,000 words without thinking about it and get up refreshed, feeling as if I had written only 1,000.

I know that I will write some crap and that I will also write some amazing things.

This year I discovered that I don't necessarily need to write fast. I don't have to skip details in favor of action. I can do both. And I can write down all the details and all the action without racing on to get to the end. In short, I have become friends with the writing process.

I'm a little disappointed that I haven't discovered my "voice" yet. I seem to be writing something mashed together from old sitcoms, 80's sci-fi, and classic mainstream fiction. I slip in and out of tense, character, and point of view. It's like movie cameras gone mad. Perhaps if I wrote all year I wouldn't feel the need to cram everything into one novel.

I'm still writing bad sentences and loving it. Still cringing, not because of the crap, but because I know it means more work for me later in editing. But that's how it has to go. That admitted, I do believe I'm writing less crap this year than ever before.

I have few fears about finishing, even though it is still a slog to get myself started. Thank goodness for write-ins!

I also know while I'm noveling that I will stint these blog posts and not write them as cleanly as I do the rest of the year. On the other hand, I feel happier and more accepting of my posts.

So, while I am comfortable with my writing pattern now, it's still work. And what lovely work it is!
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"Uncle Tauber's Trunk" - not ready for a summary yet.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 50,000 words by midnight Nov. 30

Today's Total: 7,525

Written Today: 2,724

Novel Analysis

2011-11-04T16:18:00.001-04:00

I write like
Oscar Wilde

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

This is with less than 5000 words. This little analyzer is fun but not totally accurate. I've heard that the more words you paste in the more consistently you'll get the same writer.

By the way, actually analyzing the work in progress during NaNoWriMo is something one should never do.
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"Uncle Tauber" - too early to summarize

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 50,000 words by midnight Nov. 30

Today's Total: 4801

Written Today: 0 (so far)

Getting Ready for NaNoWriMo

2011-10-12T21:58:00.002-04:00

I'm cleaning house and posting participant icons in preparation for National Novel Writing Month. It really is the most fun I have all year and it's FREE! Woo hoo! My entire being is ramping up through some subtle connection to the universe. Because, you know, the universe writes with me. Oh, and about 64,000 other people do, too.

I posted an icon on this blog and here and here. I cleaned up the computer folder which houses all of my novel drafts since 2006 (the first year I celebrated this madness).

I launched Scrivener to see if I need to upgrade. I could upgrade but I don't have to. (Well, I can't, really. But that's another story.)

I thought about using Google docs, which would work. Then I remembered all the web links, images, notes, and Wikipedia articles I collect while writing. Scrivener keeps them all in one place for me so I don't even have to leave the application if I want to refer to something I collected or created. I might use Google docs some, as I am with the grandchildren two days a week and don't have a laptop. And I will probably find myself at a write-in with pen and notebook, which means typing it up later. But, hey, words is words!

I offer my invitation, as I do only once every year, to you (yes you!) to join us and write that novel you've been thinking about, putting on the back burner, keeping locked in your closet, or buried in Davy Jones locker. No training, preparation, knowledge, or experience required. Yes, you can!

Only 19 days to go. So, get over there, sign up, and wait breathlessly for November 1.
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No noveling until November 1!

Statistics

Goal: 50,000 words

Today's Total: xxxx

Written Today: x
(and the above snippet is updated and prepared, as well)

Our Stories

2011-10-08T23:33:00.001-04:00

We all have stories that we tell our selves which define who we are and describe patterns in our lives. Your story might be that you are always left and your partner always takes the good stuff. Over and over again this story is enacted in your life. The truth may be that you get tired of your partner and then agitate the situation so that they leave you. Since you feel guilty about that you tell them to take whatever they want. Later, you only remember that they left and took the good stuff. And you do this because this is your story. While you might see a more complete picture while in the thick of things, after time passes, and that particular story ends, all you remember are the pieces that fit.

A lot of time can pass as you relive your story over and over again before it occurs to you that maybe you might have some volition in this story or that maybe you could have a better story, a nicer story. Although, not all stories are bad. Perhaps yours is that you are the compassionate one, the waiter, the kind one, the one who gives. You ignore the sort of pressure being the kind one puts on others and fail to see the manipulation in that. Or perhaps you do see it and are supported by thinking you are uplifting others by being a good example.

Having stories isn't necessarily a bad thing. They can help us feel secure and put some order to the chaos. Stories don't show us the entire truth – the entire objective truth. (Is there an entire objective truth? Since we can never experience it, we can't verify that.) So, we have these stories. They define us and order the world around us. They bring sanity to madness and chaos.

We get the story we ask for. There are a lot of stories. Choose well.

I never really chose and that's my story. I never had a firm answer to the question "What are you going to be when you grow up?" A lot of options flitted through my head. For one year in the fifth grade I was determined be a second grade teacher. As the years passed, the only firm answer I could come up with was, "Older."

There have been times when I've lived a story because it was convenient or the story of the moment. Sort of like wandering through a wood and finding odd paths and following them to the end to see where they come out. I've been to many of the usual and some of the not so usual places. It has been interesting – very interesting indeed.

Which is what I like about National Novel Writing Month. I get to dive into the woods and pick a path and follow it (or not) for an entire month. I get to make up the wood I'm in and the path and what happens when I get the end. Most of the time that's what I do. The rest of the time the wood takes over and paths appear and disappear for no apparent reason. Characters come and go and do pretty much what they feel like doing and I just follow. Perhaps that what I really like about stories, I can simply follow.

The point I thought I would be making about now is that the stories are merely stories. We can be outside of them. This is called buddhism or taoism. Or it might even be yoga. Letting go – letting it be. Seeing what is without trying to make sense or have everything fit into a story. It might even be a way to break a pattern and freely be who you are.

Checking In

2011-08-25T19:32:00.000-04:00

Those mountainous shapes give me the urge to cut.

I have the urge to cut up my old works and make something else out of them—collages or montages or perhaps even sculptures. They're just sitting around here doing nothing. Most of them are languishing unseen in stacks. The urge was brought on by seeing the image at right from my other blog. I was reviewing the "My 365 Project" page and there it was.

I did think about doing a weekly archive summation post but that isn't working.

I edited a bit of my fourth novel yesterday. I am a swooper. Kurt Vonnegut said there are basically two ways to write: pounding and swooping. Pounders work on a sentence at a time, pounding away until it's perfect and then move on to the next one. Swoopers write the whole thing and then swoop through it repeatedly until it's done. I'm pretty sure pounding won't work for a speed written novel, like I the ones I write during NaNoWriMo.

And speaking of National Novel Writing Month, the noises are already being made in preparation for this year. I am considering not writing a novel this year because I already have five drafts that I can't finish. However, I know I'll join in because it's just too much fun. And feels so great. Hopefully ... no, I won't say it. If it becomes a "real" novel – fine. If not – fine.

I have a show coming up in September at Gallery 46 of the First UU Church of Richmond. I'm sending out postcards in a day or two. If you'd like one, let me know. I'm also preparing prints. The framed pieces are ready to go.

I continue to write modules and otherwise work on the curriculum for a Right Livelihood workshop/small group for my church. We are getting close to completing the first draft. After that we'll have get some feedback and then present it to the minister for review. It's very exciting to be working on something without a model. It growing organically. I'm enjoying the process. We are swooping!

That's it until next time.
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"Cosmic Control: The Prime Locus Learns Something" is a science fiction/fantasy story about the uneasy balance between the power of the interstellar government and the powers of intuitives.

Page Count Statistics

Editing Goal: 80,000 words

Today's Total: 57,859

Edited Today: 0

Not the What

2011-08-21T12:18:00.000-04:00

What's that?
What was that again?
What did we have?
Or did what have us?
What not quite benevolent ... what indifferent ... chaos.
What that grabbed us, swirled and then
put us down
somewhere else.
At this long distance I see you more clearly —
but not the what.

This Week in My History

2011-08-04T19:42:00.001-04:00

Here are some things I made during this week in years past.

A work of art titled "Bomb Shelter"

Repeating pattern for a journal cover.

A Scrap of Fictional Conversation

He stands facing me, the luxurious and artsy room behind him. His home is not usual. It's fantastic and futuristic. He grins a little lopsidedly and shrugs a bit.

"This is quite a ... feather in your cap." I say with a smile.
"A feather in my cap. When you say that it sounds so insignificant. Unimportant. As if it didn't matter."
"If it were a feather in my cap it wouldn't matter."
"It means nothing to you."
"No. But it means something to you. And that's what counts."
He turns and his shoulders roll back, his head raises and I can see a part of his satisfied smile as he looks through the huge plate glass and drinks in the view of half of a canyonous valley of trees. He is happy. I am relieved to have survived another awkward moment.

A Poem: Graffiti Grafitto

such as nice boys don't but nice girls do
and do they?
they can't so how can they
there's no answer
no special way to twist the knot or caress the knob
there's no secret combination and no lock to solve
no puzzles
no signs
just you
and me
and just this sort of strange epiphany that it all doesn't matter unless you choose it unless you want it unless you take it unless you keep it and unless
unless
unless
you work at it
really work at it
and not just wish for it
and not just expect heaven or hell to drop it into your lap
or freeze it to your face
or make the colors right or
no
you can't force it
you can't press a duck into china and make a feather stick
you must
you must not
and the song keeps going
there's no strange notes
they are all here
but yet
i discriminate
and the damn breaks
and rusty water flows until it's black and then blue and then clear
and there's a sigh
and in the back someone is hurriedly scribbling
as.
if.
this.
were.
the.
answer.

Rainy Day Art

2011-07-31T13:39:00.000-04:00

Here's a widget that lets you make art like Jackson Pollock. Thin streams are made by moving the cursor really fast. Click for a new random color. Use the space bar to reset.

Graphic Design develops from Product

2011-07-07T10:18:00.001-04:00

I came across the useful diagram below while reading up on content strategy. Most of the requests I get from clients are to make a logo. Fast! They usually want their logo right now. They want to get that out of the way so they can have a business card and letterhead and flyers and start getting the word out.

Before I can do any of that I have to understand their business strategy. "Oh", they tell me, "I sell insurance" or "I sell real estate" or "I'm having an event." Okay. That doesn't tell me anything and it won't tell your potential customers how what you offer is different from what others offer. Why should they choose you?

While graphic designers and art directors participate in marketing strategy, and sometimes even drive it, what really drives the strategy (and the graphics) is product. This diagram shows the dependent relationship. You might want to view the entire presentation. It's about web content management, yet it also applies to product management (since content is a product).

Trying to be like everyone else is uninspired. – Sal Federico

drama at dawn or possibly sunset

2011-07-01T18:04:00.000-04:00

Cloud Hearts

2011-06-22T19:45:00.000-04:00

Cloud Hearts

Stealth Black Kitty

2011-05-28T06:39:00.000-04:00

Pip

When I let Pip out this morning the first thing I noticed was the sky. Then I saw Black Kitty crouched in the grass beside the fence. Pip didn't see BK. She had flattened herself into the grass as he went about his business.

He sniffed the ground. I pointed my chin at BK. He turned and walked toward the opposite side of the yard, picking up some scent. He then followed it around the yard ending up in the natural den behind the euonymus when he spied BK where she had spirited herself – in the next yard.

Good thing for her as Pip has mixed feelings about cats. He does like to play with them but in the doggie way. Smaller animals tend to not survive. Large cats, however, have the upper hand. If BK survives to large cat status Pip could have some interesting times.

Magical Message from the Universe

2011-05-08T15:40:00.000-04:00

I hope someone can figure this out. These must be runes or ideograms in some ancient language.

I am become the grandma

2011-05-07T10:45:00.000-04:00

I am become the grandma
living in the land of memories
going out into the morning to smell the sky

i wander barefoot through grass in a nightgown
covered by an ugly warm cardigan
on the line, scraps of fabric I call flags
my wind chime dangles from recycled white chains
the birdbath a disused baking dish

of supreme importance are the blooms in the garden
and which weeds should be removed
I don't remove them all at once
because there will always be more
and stooping must be carefully calculated

that is what you see
yet inside
live many women
6 year old bike rider and avid roller skater
college student swimming in the seas of learning
bedazzled dazzling lover charming and enchanted
young mother carrying three babies
matured mother proud of her graduating children
resourceful business woman making sharp decisions
and always there is yet one more
waiting to be born

In honor of National Poetry Month

2011-04-15T14:43:00.001-04:00

In recognition of poetry, here are the labeled poem entries from two of my blogs: Alien Drifter and (this one) Just Another Artist. For those of you interested in more information, click the blog title above. You can also follow daily poetical insights from poets on twitter.
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"On a White Palfrey" is a fantasy story about a time-bending metaphysical quest interrupted by a man in love.

Page Count Statistics

Goal: 100 Pages

Today's Total: 48

Written Today: 0

I'm ahead ... for now. Or I was yesterday.

2011-04-09T11:02:00.005-04:00

I reformatted the script as a comic book. (Very simple to do, thanks to Celtx.) It seems to work better that way. Apparently, I see better in "comic book" than I do in "movie." Probably comes from years of comic book reading as a teenager. I'm going to continue writing as a screenplay and then, hopefully, go back and work on the comic book version.

Primarily this reformatting means the scene descriptions get broken up into panels. When I do that, I can clearly see the panels and the angles and everything. When I see the story as a screenplay it's more like being in a dream with that omni-vision panoramic camera we all have in our heads. It feels good to think of the scenes as focused and properly arranged.

Experiencing a bit of resistance as the editor begins piping up with suggestions. I'm sure the editor has my best interest at heart, but I'm stuffing him back in the closet again. He can help out later. Like on May 1st.
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"On a White Palfrey" is a fantasy story about an time-bending angelic quest interrupted by a man in love.

Page Count Statistics

Goal: 100 Pages

Today's Total: 29 pages (including title page)

Written Today: 0.5 pages

Screnzied! ... so far

2011-04-04T15:54:00.001-04:00

Enora Undoni on Palfrey

I'm deeply thrilled that my screenplay script is quickly moving along. My strategy, to ignore the finer details of formating and to concentrate on story, is working. I'm able to write unimpeded – so far.

It helps that I have written (or attempted to write) four other scripts, one of which reached the goal of 100 pages. This makes it easier to select the correct line format (scene, character, etc.) on the fly. Having used Celtx for five years also helps.

I'm ignoring all the technical advice about how to write a screenplay, concentrating instead on Ann Lamott's idea of writing shitty first drafts, Robert McKee's idea of writing the story backwards (once I've discovered what it is by writing an entire script), and by following my own rules about creating a story by staying in it.

I refuse to think of the ultimate outcome for most scripts – to be produced. That's not my business now. My only job is to write the darn thing. All the rest is gravy. Or icing. Or maybe fudge.
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"On a White Palfrey" is a fantasy story about an time-bending angelic quest interrupted by a man in love.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 100 pages

Today's Total: 18 pages

Written Today: 6 pages

Writing A Script: No Experience Necessary

2011-03-29T09:47:00.000-04:00

It's nearly that time again: time to fall on the sword of inspiration and kill myself over a script. This year I have insurance, of sorts. I'm the Municipal Liaison for Script Frenzy. This means I round them up and point them in the right direction. While writing my own screenplay. I can't not finish. I would disappoint myself and them.

What's held me back in the past (I won one of the four previous attempts) is my inability to write with the same loose abandon of NaNoWriMo. I think it's the formatting. Or the structure. Or the strain of having to visualize. Or it could just be I have test anxiety or jump refusal (wait – that's horses).

Whatever! This year I'm going to have fun and screw the formatting, the plot, the characters, and the structure. For 30 glorious days I'm going to forget everything I've learned studying screenwriting and just go.

My (imaginary) scriptwriting editor is much more formidable than my novel writing editor. Actually, I think the scriptwriting editor is more like a guerilla street gang. I'm going to head them off at an alley, lead them over a cliff, and make sure I have my safety sneakers on.

You can too! Sign up now! No experience required. If you've ever seen a movie you can write a script! At least for the 30 days of Script Frenzy. No one said you had to show your script to anyone – ever. And what else are you doing? If you're the lenten type, this is a good way to fill in the time left vacant from giving up your favorite vice. The month will soar by and before you know it Easter will be here. Then you can celebrate by finishing your script.

See! Drivel is easy. Anyone can do it. And it's fun! Don't wait! Sign up now! (before sanity kicks in)
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"Untitled Masterpiece", The Phantom of the Opera, masquerading as a cable guy, donates his fortune to a poor old woman by repeatedly fixing her cable for no charge.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 100 pages

Today's Total: xxxx

Written Today: x

ps: For those of you who insist on formatting a script correctly, you can let Celtx do it for you. It's free! And easy to use! And it handles a bunch of formats, not just screenplays. There are still 63 hours before Screnzy begins. You can study up if you prefer to be prepared.

Movies I Love, explained

2011-03-23T09:51:00.000-04:00

Shades of immortals!

To expand on my tweet about #moviesilove, here is what makes my favorite movies worthy of love.

Slaves Of New York: Wondering what it's like to be an artist? Reminds me a lot of my art school days at Virginia Commonwealth University. And no wonder! Screenplay and book by Tama Janowitz who wrote about the world of Andy Warhol during the era when I was in art school. Heart warming in a satirical kind of way.
Defending Your Life: Albert Brooks' subtle humor gets better with rewatching. Even the concept is funny: purgatory as resort. Meryl Streep balances Albert nicely. Eating all you want and never gaining any weight? Puh-leese!
Galaxy Quest: I save this up to watch during the winter holidays every year.There's a parallel between the insanity of creating a universe based on fake science and families at Christmas. Everyone thinks they're doing the right thing but it all works out anyway. "... by Grabthar's hammer... by the Sons of Warvan..."
The Princess Bride: A lovely fairy tale for adults. A funny one. Full of sweet silly innuendoes. Sending up the fairy tale genre with a noble pirate, a gutsy princess, and a pretty villain. "Do you think it will work?" "It would take a miracle."
Star Wars: Do I really need to explain this? And, yes, I like them all in spite of "the phantom plot", other flung pejoratives, and JarJar Binks. I particularly enjoy seeing extra footage of Jabba the Hutt in the digital remake and being able to jump from III to VI to see Vader turn around. Although, it's kinda weird to see a young Hayden Christensen as the unmasked Darth Vader.
Harry Potter: I was dragged kicking and screaming into reading Harry Potter by my daughter who agreed to read all of The Lord of the Rings if I read HP – a mutually beneficial exchange. This series brought me understanding of the differences in storytelling technique between books and movies. I like each in their own way as great stories. Movie 6 (... The Half-Blood Prince) is so incredibly artsy. It even got a Cinematography Oscar nomination.
Notting Hill: Most amazing long shot of changing seasons to the tune "Ain't No Sunshine." Lovely will-never-happen romance between a scuzzy book seller and famous actress. I hope Working Title won't flame me for telling you that I use this movie to go to sleep with every night. I watch it on my iPhone, enjoying all the little nuances that can only be noticed after 84 viewings. This title slid into seventh place because the number of tweet characters remaining precluded a lot of other favorites. Other options for 7th place: The Lord of the Rings, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Bridget Jones' Diary, Amadeus, Phantom of the Opera.

With Script Frenzy coming up I thought this an appropriate post. I am in a mild panic because I can't settle on an idea or even characters. I'm the Municipal Liaison for Richmond this year so I have to finish. Nine days to figure it out. Wish me luck. Or a broken leg or something.

translation

2011-01-23T06:55:00.000-05:00

i want to ride,
just ride
to be carried out to the ocean and dissolve into vastness
a floating morsel of moist
held by the great wet mother
released to the sky — a newer, bigger life
riding into eternity

Nostalgic for NaNoWriMo

2010-12-29T20:53:00.000-05:00

Out of longing for NaNoWriMo I dropped in to the local coffee shop and pretended I was hosting a write in. I sat on the comfy couch drinking coffee and writing in my notebook with a pen. Then I came home and transcribed it all into the computer. Darn! I miss the camaraderie and insanity of National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMos are the most fun, crazy, creative bunch I've ever hung with. Only 10 months to go. :::sigh:::

In the meantime, I have my five novel drafts to work on.

My daughter visited over the holidays and gave me her take on the revisions to the first novel. She likes the main character and wants to know the whole story. Very encouraging! So encouraging I am planning on actually finishing the revisions and sending her a final draft. Well, as final as it can be before I try to find a publisher/agent.
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"The Pathbreaker Agent" is a scifi fantasy work in progress and my fifth novel draft written during NaNoWriMo.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 80,000 words

Today's Total: 57.181

Written Today: 817

Moon Revelations

2010-12-28T20:22:00.000-05:00

I just finished writing and posting a three-part series for Iggy O. It's called "Under a Virtual Moon." Those of you into paganism, Second Life and the crossflow of energy will enjoy this. Please comment over there. Thanks.

TGIO - but I wish it wasn't

2010-12-15T09:42:00.001-05:00

click to view my profile

The "Thank God It's Over" party has come and gone. And I am glad it's over but I'm not. For the last two years I have not been glad that NaNoWriMo is over. Yes, I was ready to celebrate reaching 50,000 words in 30 days. However, the story wasn't finished and I wanted to keep on writing. I did, for a time. This year I signed up with National Novel Finishing Month, but it's not the same. I have this dippy little counter to track my lack of writing, er, progress toward reaching my goal. I reckon about 30,000 ought to be enough to finish the story.

Screen capture of live update.

What I miss is the group support – knowing that in my Richmond area other writers are putting their noses down into keyboards and typing like furies to reach a really big goal. I miss the encouraging email from my Municipal Liaison (who also was typing furiously – this year while taking a trip to Italy). I miss the pep talk emails from published authors. I miss the video updates from Tavia et al and the silliness in the forums.

I'm no longer in this with everyone. I'm in this by myself. And, let's face it, if I could have written a 50K novel draft by myself I would have done it without NaNoWriMo. I keep hoping and believing that I will continue to write even after November is gone. That the gleam in my eye will continue to glow. That, this time, I'll remember how wonderful it feels to write regularly – the clear head, improved writing of everything (emails, blog posts, tweets, Facebook status updates), the irrational exuberance that tints my glasses and lights up my light.

Unfortunately all those effects and reasons aren't enough. I need a group. A motivated, silly, insane group with frivolous "winner" banners. Wisdom says I should start one. Hey, did you read the rest of this post? Especially the part about I would have if I could have???
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Working Titles
Cosmic Control: The First Age ( in revision: 22,309 of 70,000 written)
The Pathbreaker Agent (first draft: 56,367 of 80,000 written)

The happy winner page viewable only to those who verify over 50K.

Limping into the final lap

2010-11-27T17:47:00.001-05:00

Writing a novel is as easy as getting a camel into a truck.

This year's NaNoWriMo novel has been nearly as difficult to write as the first one. And it has fallen apart. After a enough psychic messages and symbols to solve two or three Agatha Christie novels, I have abandoned any semblance of plan to pull in a dragon. The usual fare for NaNo novels is ninjas or monkeys or swedish pirates. And, it seems no matter how many words I write each day I am still about 4000 words behind. I can still get to 50,000 by midnight on the 30th if I write about 3000 words per day. Definitely achievable as I have written about 2500 per day for five of the last seven days. It's just not a lot of fun right now. I am driven mostly to finish, to get my word count up by any device. I hope, though, that the dragon will fit in and pull it all together and prove to be a stroke of genius and not a lame crutch.

Out of the Desert - Into the Path

2010-11-18T11:54:00.000-05:00

I have a sort of descriptive title for this year's NaNo novel, The Pathbreaker Agent. I think it has a nice sort of double meaning which becomes apparent as the story unfolds. This book is more about the transformation and less about the action that causes the transformation than the other books I've written. This pleases me because it is the transformation that interests me most in real life – that process of change and how the internal changes are the true cause of all change. Sure, things happen but nothing happens if you don't experience it with your core. Then that experience just sloughs off. That's the difference between assimilating and accommodating.

This has been the most interesting year yet. I've discovered two secrets of the process that can either keep me going or block me. Nice discoveries and yet this knowledge hasn't kept me from procrastinating. As usual, I find myself having to justify doing something that I enjoy and making it hard to get started.

The secrets – a) staying IN the story not outside it, and b) staying emotionally connected with the characters – keep me going once I start. I'm sure I was doing this in the previous NaNos, but this year I have an awareness of those tools. The discovery of new tools is just one of the many reasons why I enjoy writing fiction.

Yes, it is all about me, folks!

It Novel Wordle-ing Time!

2010-11-16T15:01:00.000-05:00

As I stall on the road to catching up on my NaNoWriMo word count, it's time to stall even further by having a little fun.

Gertrude, so far

2010-11-04T18:31:00.000-04:00

Basie, as seen in Second Life

In a moment of stupidity and panic I named the Scrivener file for my NaNoWriMo novel "Gertrude." And, so far, that's still its name.

At about 1000 words in, I realized I was picking up my main character from a previous novel only she now has a new name. Her previous name was Stacy. In this novel she's Basie and she has a partner. Previously she was single.

How do characters do that? How do they go on living and changing even though the author has nothing to do with it? Sometimes I feel like I'm dipping my head into an alternate universe. And I like it!

Anyway, Basie is one of my surprise characters in that she's a pretty normal kind of person with no real distinguishing features except that she's psychic and she can time travel. She also gets assignments to go places from a mysterious source which has yet to be revealed. And yet she looks just like someone you might see at the supermarket. Ya know, normal. Ordinary. My other characters have a step or walk or manner or wear big hats and black clothes or wear things from a junk pile. Basie/Stacy wears jeans and boots and tee shirts. And she's too nice for her own good.

I am so digging this! How could anyone NOT do NaNoWriMo? It's so much fun.

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"Gertrude, so far" is a fantasy novel that might turn into an adventure mystery story and will certainly change its title.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 50,000 words

Today's Total: 3138

Written Today: probably 1700

Mummy Me

2010-10-28T17:54:00.000-04:00

I followed a tutorial on how to make mummy bandages and then used my newly acquired knowledge to make this nifty mummified me. It's not perfect. There are tons of ways it could be improved and it looks better as an icon (in other words if you squint your eyes and look at it from a distance or reduced). Fun!
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"Cosmic Control: The First Age" is an epic science fiction transformation story about an alien who saves the universe from implosion simply by becoming everything she was meant to be.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 70,000 words

Today's Total: same as last time

Written Today: 0

Song of the Day: Sweet Elaine - El Turista (Bonus Track Version) - Josh Rouse

I didn't win the NEA Art Works logo RFP either

2010-10-24T12:01:00.000-04:00

It's been seven months since I looked at the logo proposal I submitted to the National Endowment for the Arts. I knew in April that I hadn't won. Which was about what I expected. The winner was an artist, Hoon Kim, from New York with all the right credentials (Pratt, Rhode Island School of Design, MOMA, etc.) who runs a workshop called "Why Not Smile." In perusing the Linked In profile as well as the web site, I fail to see real evidence of a workshop. But I could be wrong. It could all be happening offline in meat space.

Today I looked at the NEA Art Works site to see if they are using the new logo yet. They aren't (the "logo" displayed there is a place holder from before the RFP). Why not?

I was poking around on my hard drive and opened up my submission file. I like it. The main drawback is that it's kinda complex. For starters it's a four-color logo which makes it expensive to print. It also has a lot in it, but then they wanted a lot in it. Mostly everything from this page. I'm curious about how reductionist Hoon Kim got all that into his logo.

If you have a group or business that can use the logo I made, you can have it for free. All I ask is acknowledgement. If you are going to use it, let me know and I'll send you the real ready-to-use files. This will eliminate more than one group using the same logo – which, of course, defeats the purpose of a logo.

Field Design 2 didn't win either.
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"Cosmic Control: The First Age" is an epic science fiction transformation story about an alien who saves the universe from implosion simply by becoming everything she was meant to be.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 70,000 words

Today's Total: 15,707

Written Today: 0

CCTFA: update

2010-10-01T10:22:00.000-04:00

You do realize I'm doing these updates for me. Lacking the statistics and reporting of NaNoWriMo, I am posting here.

Yet another plot point has fallen into place. There's still going to be a lot of massaging, kneading and baking once all the necessary scenes have been transferred from the prior draft. But I believe I can still make the deadline.
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"Cosmic Control: The First Age" is an epic science fiction transformation story about an alien who saves the universe from implosion simply by becoming everything she was meant to be.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 70,000 words

Today's Total: 14,077

Written Today: 853 typed; 1,244 transferred from prior draft.
Deadline: October 31, midnight.

CCTFA: update

2010-09-29T15:13:00.000-04:00

Successfully ignored the inner censor. Hope to write more tonight.
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"Cosmic Control: The First Age" is an epic science fiction transformation story about an alien who saves the universe from implosion simply by becoming everything she was meant to be.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 70,000 words

Today's Total: 13,129

Written Today: 642

CCTFA: update

2010-09-22T16:14:00.000-04:00

Wrangled plot points and reviewed my notes on "Story." Transferred the climax from the previous draft to the current draft. Now to work backwards.
*********************************************************
"Cosmic Control: The First Age" is an epic science fiction transformation story about an alien who saves the universe from implosion simply by becoming everything she was meant to be.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 70,000 words

Today's Total: 12,583

Written Today: 35 typed, 2,346 transferred from previous draft

Word count goals

2010-09-20T05:15:00.000-04:00

I see from Colleen's post on word counts by genre that I should probably up my goal to about 90,000. However, the point of writing is to bring the story to completion. Unlike most first time writers I tend to write very concise, dense novels. For me it's about adding words - mostly descriptions or actions. I'm so into the world that I forget the stuff I'm seeing is not on the page where those not in my head can see it. Having a head is great, isn't it? Anyway, I'm not changing the goal. Getting to 70K is going to be hard enough.
*********************************************************
"Cosmic Control: The First Age" is an epic science fiction transformation story about an alien who saves the universe by simply becoming everything she was meant to be.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 70,000 words

Today's Total: same as last time

Written Today: 0

CCTFA update - moving forward, slowly

2010-09-17T13:27:00.000-04:00

I think I typed about 25 words yesterday. Now that I have a sort of grasp on the plot, I'm wrangling the previous draft to fit better with the intended path. The process is clarifying. Small but significant events and details have been added. Feeling a bit of trepidation, though. Hope I can get everything into the new framework and keep all the idiosyncratic bits that made writing the original draft worthwhile.
*********************************************************
"Cosmic Control: The First Age" is an epic science fiction transformation story about an alien who saves the universe by simply becoming everything she was meant to be.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 70,000 words

Today's Total: 10, 225

Written Today: 117 typed; 1,478 transferred from previous draft and edited

CC:TFA - today's update

2010-09-15T16:58:00.000-04:00

Discovered a revised plot summary that worked out a lot of the kinks. Going to use it.
*********************************************************
"Cosmic Control: The First Age" is an epic science fiction transformation story about an alien who saves the universe by simply becoming everything she was meant to be.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 70,000 words

Today's Total: 8,607

Written Today: 215

Broken Camera Jump Starts Novel Writing

2010-09-14T13:17:00.000-04:00

A Beach of Barbados by Kathleen Bleach

I made a deal with my daughter. If she agreed to part with her beloved broken camera I would finish my novel by October 30th. She has sent in the camera. I have started to finish the novel.

I took at look at the novel a couple of days ago. It's a honking huge mess. There are bits that are really my internal dialogue, graphic insanity, timelines that wander, characters aimlessly doing stuff (although they do have internal integrity), and then there's that annoying gaping hole where the resolution should be. Perhaps I should mention the three religions, four planets, a political system, and one esoteric magical system I created.

I gave myself permission to have 7 zero-word days. I've had 10 so far. Not looking good. However, writing this post has given me some impetus, so, maybe I will report here periodically to keep myself going. My original goal was 1300 words a day, so, I can still finish if I increase the daily word count.

"Cosmic Control: The First Age" is an epic science fiction transformation story about an alien who saves the universe by simply becoming everything she was meant to be.

In case you're interested, my daughter bought a lovely Nikon which became the love of her life. She pampered it with lenses and other comfy accoutrements. On the last day of the warranty it died, flubbing an otherwise wonderful vacation to Barbados. Although she knew she should send it in, she couldn't bear to be parted from her dear camera. Hence the deal. Nikon has agreed to repair it free of charge.

Word Count Statistics

Goal: 70,000 words

Today's Total: 8,354

Written Today: 0

echo emerged

2010-08-31T14:46:00.000-04:00

listening to my top 14 songs

wanting to share them with you

realizing

you know nothing about my music

as i know nothing about yours

doesn't matter

i still want you

even though we barely know each other

having shared stories

although

never in that deep story-telling place

of the stories behind the stories

listening

you listen so intently

(and i love that about you)

listening

as if you care

are you so polite to everyone?

does your hair tousle just for me?

is your smile just for me?

my smile is just for you

and why

i can't shut up

can't stop thinking about you

feeling you

planning what i'll say to you

next time we meet

even if it's not until after we die

as if that would stop us

you and i know ...

at least

you should know

having tried

severing ties to those who have moved on

and that not working

give up

give in

let us be

bored with the rules

2010-07-30T10:30:00.000-04:00

strange mood (sketch)

2010-07-21T18:13:00.000-04:00

Who do you write like? I write like ...

2010-07-15T21:21:00.000-04:00

I write like
David Foster Wallace

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Sometimes nothing is better

2010-07-09T16:11:00.000-04:00

... and this is one of those times. Blogging about the creative process sometimes has a way of stopping me. So nothing for now. Not until I've created some stuff or worked on current projects. I'm sure you understand.

through the hole

2010-06-03T19:02:00.000-04:00

divided (return)

2010-05-21T13:33:00.000-04:00

Not Writing a Script

2010-04-05T09:41:00.001-04:00

Ever since Script Frenzy began, well almost since then, I have been happily not writing a script. Just yesterday, in fact, I reveled in the joy of not script writing. Whenever I am writing, and a script seems to be the biggest catalyst, the rest of my life goes beautifully by comparison. It's a crazy insanity (uh huh) that I feel so much better when I am not writing a script. But when I write a novel, I am happier when I have written. Even though not writing a novel is also gives me a good feeling. It's like not script writing throws the rest of my life in sharp relief as a real cake walk by comparison. And I guess I get a charge out of defying whatever plan I have made to write.

It's not that I don't know what to write. I have stories in my head all the time. It's just that I prefer to think of them than write them down. If I could make movies just for me, I would. Unfortunately I haven't the patience for that. In the meantime there's not script writing.

Surprisingly, I did sit down this morning and bash out four pages of script. I am, however, far behind the goal for daily output if I am to reach 100 pages by April 30. The nice thing is that this story actually seems promising. I think it could actually make a movie.

I did some research to see if there was some way to write "natively" in the film medium. There isn't. Even graphic novels and comics take their labels from the film industry. It's all adaptation. There is no native film medium. Sort of odd. The closest I can get is to see the movie in my head and try to put that on paper. Scary sometimes how clearly I can see it.

I'm off now for a walk — a break from all this mad production. Maybe I'll come back and write some more, maybe not. After all, it feels so good to not write a script. Maybe I'll get some of those projects done that have been hanging around here for a long, long time.

Beginning a Quest for Spiritual Photography

2010-02-16T19:07:00.000-05:00

I've got this idea for exploring photography. Instead of taking well-composed, analytical, by-the-book kind of shots, I'd like to see if I can make photos that reveal the mystical aspects of being. What I will do is wander around with my camera and take pictures at the spiritual opportune moment. I'm a little vague on this. Things should develop as I get into the process.

I'll be posting these images to my The Unplanned Eye blog. The original purpose of that blog was to capture the things I saw as I walked to and from work. I now work from home and the commute isn't quite what it used to be. I'm also no longer satisfied with the limitations of the phone camera. I inherited my daughter's lovely Canon camera at Christmas which does some wonderful things.

As I was taught years ago in a college basic photography course, I'll shoot some grey cards to find out what kind of color shift I get with the camera. Instead of painting an actual card, as I did then, I'll be printing out one. Changing out the camera's settings and using the built in filters ought to be a lot of fun. I've posted a snow picture here that came out much better than I expected, it was accidental in that I just opened up the back door and snapped it. I am astonished by the sharp texture of the snow and the lovely depth from all the blue shadows.

I hope I actually follow through on this. It seems like a nice idea.

mulling over my first novel: CCBFA

2010-02-07T08:40:00.000-05:00

I suppose I should refer to my first novel by it's title, or at least the working title, which is Cosmic Control: Bronwen's First Age.I'm still in the exploratory stages even though I have written over 50,000 words, had a friend read the draft, talked about the process to everyone I know, written a second companion novel, and had a professional review the first 10 pages. It's still evolving, mainly because it's an epic fantasy/scifi educational transformative plot. So, rather huge. Sometimes I think I'd be better off working on one of the other two novels because they are smaller stories. Sometimes I think I'd be even better off writing a screenplay because that's even shorter.

In the meantime, I did receive excellent feedback from The Editorial Department. They liked the premise, said I had a certain flair, and pointed out that my syntax needs some work. So, skipping the reading aloud part before sending the sample off was not good. I feel encouraged and overwhelmed. So much to do and learn. They pointed me to their book, Self Editing for Fiction Writers, which I had perused — obviously not seriously enough.

I've been mulling over the novel plot points and character development in light of their suggestions. I suppose I should actually write some of those mulled thoughts down. I am not looking forward to improving my syntax nor to refreshing my grammar skills. Hence the mulling. Also, they recommended I axe the first chapter. I hear that's a typical criticism for most first time novelists. However, I feel there are a few points in the first chapter that are pertinent. What that suggestion really points to is that I haven't put enough of the main character into the beginning of the book. And the main protagonist ought to also figure a little more strongly as well. Hence the continued mulling.

Transformational Story
As part of this mulling I have looked at my three favorite stories, the ones I think should most definitely be movies (and when I win the lottery I'm going to make them). As I compared the plots I began to realize that all three are transformational or transformative stories. Oh, I know. All good stories are about some kind of transformation. What I'm referring to is what Robert McKee calls an "Education Plot" which focuses on "deep change within."* I suppose from one perspective that sort of path could be called education. I feel that if there is education going on there ought to be an educator involved. Without the educator there is only experience which offers learning opportunities and not so much education. I prefer transformative. And there's also something spiritual about that sort of deep change within.

Mulling over transformation has sent me on a tangent to discover just what makes a story transformational and what pieces and parts I need to have. Which has sent me back to books and research, as I continue to mull.

*Story, Robert McKee, Harper Entertainment, New York, 1997, pg. 81.

Getting a Professional Critique of My First Novel

2010-01-06T12:44:00.002-05:00

Dear Elaine,
Thanks so much for your submission. This note is to confirm that we have received your file along with contact and project information. ...
Thank you for your confidence in The Editorial Department. We look forward to working with you.

At long, long, long last I have finally edited the first ten pages of my 2006 NaNoWriMo novel (Cosmic Control: Bronwen's First Age) to a point where I'm willing to have someone critique them professionally. I have tense issues, as in "which tense do I use here?" I tend to edit rather intuitively depending on how the writing feels as I read it. I did not read the pages aloud. Probably should have done that. Everyone recommends that and I'm sure it's good advice.

I have edited way more than the first ten pages. I'm about a third of the way through my, oh, I don't know, probably fifth pass. Still missing a major plot point which is emerging slowly.

I chose The Editorial Department because I liked their book "Self-Editing for Fiction Writers." I liked the clarity of the goals and suggestions and the lovely attitude they have toward stumbling writers. I'm looking forward to their report, no matter what they tell me.

Next up, finishing my 2009 NaNoWriMo novel draft, which is part two of the planned trilogy of Cosmic Control. Much of it is in my head. The rest is all scribbling and bibbling.

Wordpress - it's easy when you know how

2009-12-29T11:59:00.000-05:00

Yes, you too can install Wordpress easily with our famous three-step process. Step one is easy. Download Wordpress. Step Two is like this:

Unzip Wordpress.
Check your ISP - do they offer something like Easy Scripts? If yes, use it. If not, go to step 3.
Create a MySQL database on your server. (eh? what? come back in two months after you know what MySQL is and have taken an online course in how to install and use Wordpress.)
Copy/remember/paste the database user name and server address (eh? what? come back in a couple of days after you have acquired the temerity to copy nonsensical strings of letters, numbers and periods into a form field)
Go back to step 2. Use Easy Scripts to install Wordpress.
Click "here" to go to your new webpage.
Jot down error code.
Call hosting support.
Spend 30 minutes on hold while support tries to understand your problem, then tells you your database has an error and they will fix it.
Log into your Worpress admin. (Try to remember which user name and password you need here. If in doubt, return to step 4.)
If this doesn't work, try the manual installation of Wordpress and begin again with step 5.

No lie, folks. And I still don't have a Wordpress home page. Why am I putting myself through this insanity? To maintain my web site. I am not happy with iWeb (which needs updating and which has some severe design restrictions). GoLive no longer functions and I prefer not to learn coding with Dreamweaver. If I were able, I would hire someone to do the backend work for me -- the coding, the installation, the updating -- and keep the design part and content creation for myself.

Eventually, when I have Wordpress installed and working, this will be kind of like having my own web developer. Kind of. I'll still get to design and write and add content, but the fiddlely bits will be taken care of by Wordpress. I hope.

Fourth NaNoWriMo Win!

2009-11-30T08:27:00.001-05:00

I think I'm getting better at writing novels. I didn't make it to the final conclusive ending yet, but I have one in mind, a real one that actually works. Of course, it means revisions to the first half of the book. That's how NaNoWriMo goes – unless novels spring fully formed from your mind. Which mine don't.

The last three novels I wrote had ending issues. The first one I simply ended the way I wanted it to without figuring out how to get there. My draft reader was severely disappointed, although she liked the story that led up to the "fake" ending. The second and third novels didn't end. They just stopped at around 50,000 words. One of the them I think may actually have a real ending to find. Not sure about the other.

However, I have improved in writing, in being able to manage the process and am feeling more serene and confident than ever before. I believe some discipline has crept into my writing, as well. I like it.

I plan to keep on writing until I have the ending down in actual printable words. Then a break to gain some perspective and then back to work to finish the thing properly. First, breakfast!

my NaNoWriMo motivators

2009-11-24T21:17:00.000-05:00

From David Robbins at the James River Writers "The Writing Show" (January 31, 2008; The Best Editor — You!) who spoke as part of panel discussion. What I remember him saying is "It's art. First and foremost you are an artist." And he added that it's up to the artist to decide how the story goes.

Neil Gaiman from the 2008 Week Three NaNoWriMo Pep Talk

The last novel I wrote (it was ANANSI BOYS, in case you were wondering) when I got three-quarters of the way through I called my agent. I told her how stupid I felt writing something no-one would ever want to read, how thin the characters were, how pointless the plot. I strongly suggested that I was ready to abandon this book and write something else instead, or perhaps I could abandon the book and take up a new life as a landscape gardener, bank-robber, short-order cook or marine biologist. And instead of sympathising or agreeing with me, or blasting me forward with a wave of enthusiasm—or even arguing with me—she simply said, suspiciously cheerfully, "Oh, you're at that part of the book, are you?"

I was shocked. "You mean I've done this before?"

"You don't remember?"

"Not really."

"Oh yes," she said. "You do this every time you write a novel. But so do all my other clients."

I didn't even get to feel unique in my despair.

So I put down the phone and drove down to the coffee house in which I was writing the book, filled my pen and carried on writing.

Maureen Johnson from the 2009 Week Two NaNoWriMo Pep Talk

You have wandered into The Middle. Thing is, writers spend something like 97% of their time in The Middle. Once you leave those first pages, those first days... you wander into strange land and you stay there for a long, long time. It took me a little while, probably a few years of full-time writing, to fully accept that that middle bit was where I was going to be spending pretty much all of my time. This is the thing they don't tell you. When you see portrayals of writers on television or in movies, what are they normally doing? They're sipping coffee or cocktails, or jetting around to signings, or solving murders for fun.

I like to know my misery is normal. I like hearing that it's all part of a process, that I am on the path, on the way and that something else is coming up ahead. I just have to keep on going.

Those thoughts have kept me going. Thanks, everyone! I'm ahead in my word count for the first time ever. I like this story a lot. Even the trite bits, the stupid parts and the silly character names. Everyone should write a novel.

My Novel Wordled

2009-11-23T17:15:00.001-05:00

Word count rising - plot nearly real

2009-11-12T20:03:00.000-05:00

NaNoWriMo Diner in SL

My total word count is 16,712 today. I think I must have miscalculated. I thought that 2,000 words a day would catch me up. I seem to still be about 3,000 words behind. I'm going to start doing 2,200 words a day and this weekend I'm going to do more than that in a bid to close the gap.

I'm really glad there's a NaNoWriMo group in Second Life. It's been motivational to have a word count hanging over my AVs head and a place to sit and "type." I have, actually, been typing off-world mimicking my in-world double.

I'm also cheered on by friends in Facebook and the twitter stream #nanowrimo. I'm also keeping an eye on #nanopanic to remind myself how easy it is to fall behind. No more lazing about for me! The pain of not finishing is worse than the pain of working. Well, not so much the pain of working. More like the pain of starting. Today wasn't too bad. I wrote a thousand words before lunch. Then it only took about five hours of procrastination to get to the other 1200 (or so) words.

Meanwhile, I'm learning all over again how fiction writing is a beast with a life of its own. Just hang on and ride the thestral.

getting started on my fourth novel

2009-11-06T19:46:00.000-05:00

I haven't written in two days. I'm a bit stumped on the plot which means I haven't gotten to know the characters good enough yet.

In history there's the "great events" versus "great men" theory. Do great men cause great events or do great events cause great men? In Story, Robert McKee says they're interactive. Only he talks about structure and characters. If you change the characters you change the structure — change the structure, change the characters. Interdependent is a better word. Yes, interdependent. This makes sense to me. So, also in history it is most likely neither but both — men and events interact, are interdependent.

All of which takes me away from the novel. I have started researching to find some facts that might inspire me. I've also pulled up all my old notes from the first novel, as the novel I'm working on is book two of the trilogy. Some of the process is made easier by using Scrivener, a writing software that I have on free trial until the 15th of December. Then, if I "win" (by writing 50,000 words by Nov. 30th) I can purchase the software for half price. Such a deal! Right? Yes!

Scrivener makes the process easier by letting me keep all my research and notes in one place. No more going out into the distracting hard drive to search for something. It's all right there whether PDF, text file, document or web page. The only file format I haven't been able to import is Excel (or Numbers).

Scrivener also makes it easier by letting me organize my writing by character, chapter, or/and scene. Then, with one touch of a button, it will "compile" my book into industry approved manual format for submission. Pretty cool.

It also has a little indicator at the bottom of the screen where I input number of words I intend to write. That part is nice and scary. Nice because I can see my word count go up as I type and scary because it isn't high enough. It's amazing how difficult it is to get going and how easy it is to do a 5,000-word day by the end of the month.

I've also discovered that, as before, it takes a few thousand words to get into the groove. Which shows me that writing every day is a very good thing. Ya know, it's a skill that needs to be practiced. Sure it's like riding a bike, but a trick bike. And just like you need to keep up your tone and skill for extreme biking you need it for extreme novelling, too. If only every day writing were as much fun as NaNoWriMo.

[big sigh] No excuses! Must write.

Catching the Leaves

2009-10-28T11:35:00.001-04:00

following

2009-10-20T21:26:00.003-04:00

"The outstretched hand is there. If you reach for it, it'll grab you back."
- Bird in The Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk

Story: a contemplative progress signifying something

2009-09-02T17:08:00.004-04:00

I feel as if I have tracked and caught a rare species in the wild. I brought home "Story" by Robert McKee today, after researching the author and reading nearly three chapters of the book. And I feel captured in return.

The book is expensive — I usually pay ten or fewer dollars for a book. For this one I gave up $35 (and some tax).

The book is compelling. I started reading skeptically thinking that here again was another overhyped screenwriting book with little substance. Instead, I was drawn from page to page by the beautifully organized structure, depth of knowledge and elucidating examples. I am happy and relieved to have finally found a book that makes sense of all the theories and brass tacks of story development. I'm 50 pages into the book and eagerly looking forward to reading and learning from the next 320 some pages. It's like a textbook.

I am heartened by the 16 suggested readings at the back of the book as I have previously encountered and respect five of the authors listed. In "Story" I have found a teacher who has been where I'd like to go and returned with a detailed and useable map.

Some of you may think I've been living under a rock to have missed as big a name as Robert McKee. Maybe I have. Even if the film industry has moved on to other story fads, McKee's book is a firm foundation for whatever comes next.

If only I could afford his upcoming seminar in New York! Oh well. Lots of good stuff in the book. I'm planning on taking the stories I have written so far and reorganizing them using his elements and principles. I'm sure I will learn a lot and that my stories (and I) will grow and improve.

Perhaps I am not so much captured as corralled into a large and rich workshop where I will be given the tools to make whatever my heart desires. That's definitely significant.

No movies for oldies?

2009-08-21T08:15:00.004-04:00

According to Daniel Manus:

Here are the true reasons why studios don't make movies for the older crowd:
They don't come to the movies very often. They are picky and while they will come out to the movies ("Julie and Julia" proved that), they don't do it very often, and studios have to play the odds. Kids go to the movies every weekend. If it rains, even more kids come out to movies, but everyone over 55 stays home.
Their tickets are less expensive. Hello, Senior Discounts! Thank you AARP.
Even if they will go see a movie in the theater, they won't go buy the DVD afterwards, they won't buy the soundtrack or iTunes merchandise, they won't get the Happy Meal with a shiny old person toy inside and they won't buy the T-shirt, poster or any other ancillary crap that kids most certainly will.
Older crowds only respond to older actors that they can connect with (Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren, Judi Dench, etc). Unfortunately, there are only a handful of these women that can aid in opening a movie. The men are slightly different, as no one thinks of Harrison Ford as being 67 years old even though he is. But the type of movies he does doesn't bring his AARP co-patriots to the theater.

My opinion point-by-point:

We don't go to the movies often because they're usually all about kiddie toothpick fashionistas. When we were kids we wanted to see kids doing stuff. Now we're oldies we want to see stories with depth, plots that are engaging, thespians that can turn a phrase on a dime with non-verbals that match, and productions that haven't lost the continuity girl. Yes, we're picky. We like quality. We're sophisticated viewers. You can't bamboozle us with the same schlock you feed kids. Everyone over 55 stays home? Hah! I see them in movie theaters all the time.
If there were enough movies we thought were worth seeing, those miniscule "Senior" discounts would evaporate. And what about matinees? Hello cheaper tickets!!
When, out of desperation, an oldie does see a movie it's usually not worth replaying. Make a quality movie and we'll buy it. Scratch that, I've bought DVDs and I still buy DVDs. I buy merchandise when it's worth having. Has anyone asked us what merchandise we would like to buy? Whatever it is it has to be worth making space for among all the schlock I bought when I was young.
Sure, I respond to mature thespians. Why not? They're good, experienced and do quality work. Are you seeing a trend here? Quality work. I also respond to younger thespians who have more going for them than being able to model for a Biafra poster, look cute, and giggle.

Quite frankly I'm tired of seeing juvenile toothpicks with their bones poking out of oversized sleeves, wearing padded breasts and having to use body doubles whenever a scene requires a real body. I'm tired of thin plots, ubiquitous lines of dialogue, and characters that are cute trendsetters. I'm tired of linked merchandise that falls apart two minutes after it's out of the box and dumb tee shirts that are nothing but ads.

I want to be able to choose my merchandise and customize it. I tried in vain to find cuddly Dronkeys after the 3rd Shrek movie. If they had been for sale I would have bought them for me and everyone I know. I made a customized Dory mug. I plan to buy some good Star Trek merchandise (if I can find it). When the music is good I want the CD or to be able to choose the songs I liked as they were performed in the film. And let's not forget us oldies have grandchildren for whom we purchase items and with whom we sit in theaters.

So don't blame us for your lack of marketing research and blatant agism.

Here it comes again! NaNoWriMo

2009-08-20T12:01:00.004-04:00

National Novel Writing Month! Every November thousands of dreamers create novel drafts, writing 50,000 words in 30 days. I've participated three times and now have three novel drafts to show for it. Unfortunately, I've only been editing one of them. The rest are in electronic folders with webpages, links, notes and other paraphernalia that goes with writing a story.

I had decided not to participate this year because I felt my three novel drafts weren't really getting me anywhere and I should really be editing what I have. However, I saw the new badges and the thrill of writing a high speed novel came back to me. So, yes, I'm doing it again. ::::sigh::::: (soon to be) Four novels drafts.

I am in actual fact getting something from this. I am getting better at writing and better at writing regularly. I have discovered my personal writing pattern and freak out a lot less when I have a zero words day. I also feel confident that if necessary I could, in fact, create a novel draft in 30 days.

Another benefit is that the advent of NaNoWriMo stimulates me to return to edit the first draft and to open up and consider the other drafts. Sometimes I just review my research. The novels are all shiny and bright and wonderful.

I don't know where all this participation and creation of novel drafts is leading. Probably toward the end of life as I know it and the beginning of a new one. I'm always up for that.

Enjoy my previous struggles and celebrations. I hope there's video posting like last year!

New Career Goal: Cultural Photographer

2009-08-07T11:52:00.005-04:00

And I don't mean I go around snapping photos of art and sculpture and people in furs and pearls at the opera (although the latter could qualify). I mean I take pictures of niche market consumers. That sounds kinda official and important. What I mean is snapping middle class people just doing their thing. I've seen so many colorful photos of punks, goths, metalheads, round heads, tattoos. Heck, I even know some of those people. So no excitement there. However, taking photos of various segments of society in the wild would/could be fun. I might even be suited for it with my artful eye and degree in psychology and experience in marketing graphics. Hmmm.

before you look away

2009-07-22T20:01:00.001-04:00

I have nothing to recommend me
I am not slender, young or rich
so,
why do you look at me so intently –
why do your dark eyes drink me
as if i were a fountain in the desert –

before you look away?

celery

2009-07-09T18:42:00.003-04:00

Fun With Rejection

2009-06-24T11:52:00.004-04:00

I've been vid blogging on my other blog about the rejection emails I'm getting in response to my job applications. Sort of reminds me of authors and their rejection notices. Are you an author? Do you have a bit of humor about rejection? Would you like to? Try this post from Teresa Nielsen Hayden's blog. She's one of those who is responsible for creating rejection letters.

She mentions that most authors don't understand the phrase "it's not personal." Authors aren't the only ones who have to go through the depersonalization process. Artists do as well. I have and I'm much better for it. I'll never forget the day a graphic design firm owner told me "We don't take anything personal around here." What a relief! It's all business, don't you know.

old posters in the city

2009-06-14T17:57:00.003-04:00

This image popped into my head. Had to make it. Not like I saw it exactly, yet interesting.

feeling like a real writer

2009-06-04T10:27:00.006-04:00

I just printed out my screenplay draft – all 80 pages of it. It's is a thing of beauty. I am overwhelmed by my discovery at how official it looks printed out. Wow. It's not the same feeling as seeing the book version of my first novel draft. That was not exciting. It was satisfying but not exciting.

It's all beautifully formatted thanks to Celtx (completely free and totally wonderful). I could press a tab in Celtx and see the scene for each character. The scenes wouldn't be in order and it's a bear to rearrange them. I hoped there might be an index card function so I could rearrange the scenes. There is an index card tab and it does put the screenplay into the cards by scene, however, you have to type each theme at the bottom of the card which is automatically populated with whatever theme you typed into the previous card. Whatever the index card function is for, it's not working for me.

Anyway, it's all printed out now. I'm off to slice up all the scenes and put the character arcs in order so I can figure out what to do next, which I hope helps get me through this latest block.

Neil Gaiman tweets photo shoot

2009-06-01T15:18:00.002-04:00

The "put this picture on your web site" button was irresistible.

052909

2009-05-29T06:09:00.003-04:00

Page Count: Still 80

2009-05-27T22:39:00.003-04:00

It's not that I have no discipline. Not really. I went away for the weekend to a pagan festival and had such a good time that I didn't come back for two weeks. Physically it was just a weekend. Emotionally it was two weeks. For two weeks I threw an emotional tantrum and refused to do anything ... pretty much. Spent a lot of time mourning my lack of ideal life and dreams that will never come true.

I finally came around yesterday and got the script out and read it over. Man, have I forgotten a lot. Whoever said visit your characters every day was right!

In the meantime, I have discovered Patrick Horton who writes these really good articles on scriptwriting. I started answering the seven questions and got through five. They are tough questions and good questions. I had a small revelation about the screenplay story and why I'm writing it. So that's kind of sinking in.

Tomorrow I must write at least one page. At least.

Today's Page Count: 80

2009-05-07T08:56:00.004-04:00

I wrote for about 30 minutes and am now at 80 pages on the screenplay. Nothing like a little love scene to add to the page count.

I've installed the Session Timer into Celtx which tells me how many minutes and words I've done. The plot continues to develop in unsuspected ways. I like it.

Refined the log line on IndieGoGo. Seems to help to have a more targeted summary. Have you ever been over to imdb.com and read the log lines? The Star Wars ones are distinguished in that they name actual characters. I guess when you own your own madly successful studio you can write the log lines anyway you want.

An hour a day

2009-05-06T10:01:00.002-04:00

To keep moving forward on the script, which is now at 76 pages, I'm going to write an hour a day. Today it was actually 46 minutes. That's okay. Will try again tomorrow.

Signed up for IndieGoGo on the recommendation of Script Frenzy. Not ready to link to my project yet. The title is half formed, the log line a bit squashed and the summary needs more words. Promise to keep working on it. They say you never get perfect, but I think half-formed is not good enough.

World Beach Project - My Contribution

2009-05-04T11:19:00.009-04:00

I finally got around to making art on the beach with stones as part of the World Beach Project sponsored by the Victoria and Albert Museum in England. I took my pattern from the tracks on the beach of crabs, spiders, birds, dogs, people and who-knows-what.

20 years ago you could stand on the beach and scoop up crabs. Now you're lucky if you see one. Two years ago new rules on harvesting the crabs were made and the population is growing again. The dead spots created by dredging, now banned, are coming alive again. My pattern is based on the sand crab track pattern and leads to a sand crab hole. After I finished, I watched the crab emerge repeatedly from it's hole and fling out sand.

I'm not sure my pattern is really a track. It ended up more of a code, actually. Anyway, it was fun and inspiring. For about 15 minutes I wanted to get a travel trailer and ride down the coast making stone patterns on every beach I could find.
the finished piece

Script Frenzy over - screenplay not done

2009-05-01T16:46:00.003-04:00

I made it to 74 pages. I believe I can finish the story and the screenplay if I write a little everyday. But not today. Ha ha.

There an interesting site called MakingOf, apparently the brain-child of Natlie Portman, which has a ton of those "making of" videos. Amongst all that I found this lovely article about writing everyday. Sounds like good advice to me and a good reason to start another blog. Yikes!

A Swing and a Miss

2009-04-29T16:59:00.004-04:00

Heh heh. That title suggests something to me – like a brand new screenplay (which is ridiculous as I still have to finish this one) – and that's not going to happen. I'm at 74 pages and need to write 26 by tomorrow morning at 9 am. Script Frenzy goes until midnight, but I won't be at home and, so, away from the keyboard that has the application I need to finish. I suppose I could always take the file with me, install the application at the keyboard I will be at and then write and delete the application when I'm done. I could do that. Not sure it's a realistic option. I'm painfully resigning myself to not winning this one.

I did better than my last attemp, which was two years ago. Got a lot more pages, got a lot further and learned more about the way I work and that scriptwriting is definitely different from novel writing. It's not just my imagination. So, there we go. Done. Mostly. Pretty much.

I could say I'll keep writing and finish the script after the 30th. I could but I wouldn't believe myself if I did. Still. It could happen.

The Engine Stalls

2009-04-27T19:21:00.003-04:00

Yep. Since Thursday (five days, although today is not over yet) I have not written a thing. Oh, well, maybe a word or two. I did open the file and look at it. But I just don't wanna!! Wah! I don't want to get to know the characters. If they were all sitting a room together it would be very quiet as they would not be talking to each other. There would be a lot of tension. I'm at a scene now that is kind of like that except it's not all the characters. And it is tense but mostly for the viewer because the characters don't know about all the undertow and how one of them isn't being exactly up front. A situation like that should make for good theater but I don't want to know about it.

There is still time to get to 100 pages before midnight on Wednesday. Will I? I have no idea.

Firm Ground

2009-04-21T20:51:00.002-04:00

I'm still a little stunned from my day's writing. I wrote six pages and they were good pages and it was productive work. I don't feel like I'm floundering around so much anymore. It's a good feeling but not what I'm used to. I expected to be issuing recriminations and shaking my head and wondering what the heck! Well, I did wonder what the heck for about an hour (what have I got myself into? who's idea was this anyway? why am I wasting my time with this?) Then I shook it off and got to work. It's a good day.

Instead of writing, I make a poster

2009-04-19T10:51:00.002-04:00

And here it is.
It's not movie posterish enough but I spent an hour and a half working on it while talking to a friend and letting the dishes get cold in a sink-full of water. It's as done as it's going to get and I still have five pages to write today. And beans to plant, and ... well, let's not get into it. Just think of the sink full of dirty dishes in cold water and you'll get the picture.

Here I am updating you instead of actually writing

2009-04-18T07:45:00.004-04:00

I missed Thursday because I was babysitting the grandchildren and had other work to do at the end of the day. Which, really, is no excuse. To keep up and write the four pages I needed to write that day would have taken about 40 minutes or maybe 60 at the outside. Yesterday I wrote one page. It takes me about 20 minutes to get into the groove or about a page and a half. Then I'm rolling. I tell myself I'm worried about going on too long – until I'm exhausted. That hasn't happened yet. Well, sort of it did with the first screenplay. I can still finish by writing a reasonable amount of pages a day: 5. Not bad. I am there again, at the stage where I realize I can still win if I stick to a highly manageable goal.

Screenwriting is not the free flow of noveling. There are so many elements to consider in different formats. I guess that's the stumbling block: the structure. Each element is structured differently. Each element needs a different tone. In a screenplay, more than in a novel, you have to be all the characters and the director and ... well, all those parts. When I write a novel all I have to do is dream, basically. Which is like being a lot of characters. So, that, really, is one point of view: the point of view of the actors.

I sometimes peek over into my alternate life where I developed my singing, dancing and acting talents and lived the good life of a successful thespian who later got into directing and made enough profit to start a charitable foundation. That woman did a lot of voluntary traveling and was a lot braver than I. She was also happier and avoided the potholes I fell into in this life. I tried to write that story but it came out science fiction fantasy and was translated into something else entirely. This is why I write. To live those alternate lives. Really its about the grass being greener elsewhere. You know how much better the neighbors' lawns look from a distance.

I'd better start writing now or it will be six pages a day.

The smaller half of the job

2009-04-15T18:02:00.004-04:00

One of those brain farts happened when I wasn't looking because of course that's when they always happen. Somehow embedded in my head was that today is the halfway mark (correct) and I should be at 40 pages (incorrect). It wasn't until I had huffed and puffed to page 42, posted my count and read a post in the forum that I discovered that half way is 50 pages. Well, of course it is. It's 100 pages in 30 days - not 80. Where did 40 come in? Maybe I was looking at the desired goal of some previous day and the number 40 got lodged in my head.

Anyway, I did write (at last). Took me all day to do it. Feel undermotivated and deformed somehow. However, I will move forward especially after reading todays most excellent advice by Daniel Heath. Four pages a day will do it and I did more than that today. I feel like The Little Engine That Could.

Plot Points Develop Dramatically

2009-04-11T14:34:00.002-04:00

The screen play continues apace. And a slow but steady pace it is. Thank goodness Screnzy not a race. I don't need to keep up with anyone as long as I get to 100 pages by the end of the month. I seem to be following my usual pattern of slow start and steady mid-stream which means, if I stick to this pattern, I will get stuck about 3/4 of the way through. If I write five pages a day, I can win (i.e., write 100 pages in 30 days).

More interesting to me is how the plot is evolving as I write. Let's keep in mind that the novel is written (although not fully edited) and the plot is pretty much decided. However, to make the story play, I discovered I need to redramatize it. Basically, I'm pulling all the dramatic scenes from the book, writing them down as isolated incidents and hoping that the scenes will all gel into a movie. I've no idea how writers who regularly do adaptations manage to make the movie so much like the book. Even movies that aren't a lot like the book are still more like the book than my screenplay seems to be at this moment. It's an interesting process.

I'm curious to see how the screen play will turn out. I still have that lingering big problem to resolve: how the woman goes from an inescapable situation to victory in a scene or two. I'm looking forward to working that out, actually. Bits of action are playing themselves in my head as potential solutions. As I mull it over, the the solutions get more interesting and the plot progresses. It's great.

Day Two - Six Pages

2009-04-02T07:11:00.005-04:00

I have arrived abruptly and sooner than expected at that brick wall which says, "Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here." I am thinking how much of what I do is an interpretation to the world, a way to round up information and organize it into digestible chunks. And I don't want to. I mean, why should I explain the world to you? Don't you get it? Of course you do. You know what the world is. That's what you do. If you didn't you wouldn't be able to lead your life. Then what can I do? Is there really so much unexplained that you would like to know? Who cares?

It's quite a wall. I'm not sure how I will get through or around it. At least I'm working.

I've done it again - signed up for Script Frenzy

2009-03-30T13:42:00.005-04:00

I'm a real fool for punishment, that's for sure. I have, once again, signed up for Script Frenzy, even though I didn't finish last year. What I learned from that is I need a plan. I can't just dive in like I do with novelling. So, I have a plan. I'm going to adapt my unpublished novel. Although it's not a best seller, yet, I think it would make a great movie. The more I think about it, the more I see that my novel is really a collection of scenes held together by transition. The only drawback I can think of at the moment is that there is a critical plot point I haven't resolved yet. Writing the screenplay will mean rewriting the novel and that will, hopefully, make that plot point emerge. Wish me luck. And, if you want to help, keep checking on my progress and send me encouraging emails.

Posts from Previous Years
2008
2007 - Winner

Blueberry Girl - New from Neil Gaiman

2009-03-08T10:05:00.001-04:00

Watch it. It's lovely.

No future for books? I think not!

2009-01-29T21:45:00.003-05:00

Tonight's James River Writers' Writing Show featured Joshua Kendall and Alan Cheuse mulling over the topic "The Future of Fiction." Both Josh and Alan shared their professional backgrounds and experiences. Neither of them, which may have been the non-directive style of the moderator, Brandon Reynolds, actually focused on the future of fiction. Tangentially, as a side bar to relating their experiences as editor (Josh) and reviewer (Alan), they touched on the future of the printed fiction book.

Alan's contention was that even though there are more people, the number of buyers of printed books appears to be stuck at the same number it has always been. His suggestion was that we proselytize readers. No one mentioned the evolving alternative avenues for fiction, like for example podcasts, or that fiction is the basis for most movies. It is standard industry practice for movie companies to review new fiction even before it is printed. Little mention was made of how fiction is consumed by movie goers and TV viewers. No one brought up podcasts or those who read books online.

They talked about the horrendous practice of refunding money to booksellers for unsold books. No one mentioned that Print on Demand (POD) might be an alternative to that. Perhaps books printed right at the book store? Neither did anyone mention distribution of electronic books as a way to avoid that refund.

Another issue raised was bricks and mortar booksellers running out of books and not keeping up with demand. Here, again, no one mentioned that POD might be a solution.

The most futuristic notion came not from the panel but from an attendee who raised the possibility that editors may need to partner directly with booksellers (rather than through a house) to get books out. Alan then mentioned the potential for sponsorship of books by commercial concerns, joking that perhaps a vampire book could be sponsored by the American Red Cross.

Josh mentioned the increasing number of independent publishers which Alan corroborated by indicating that a large number of the books sent to him for review came from independent publishers. While both men discouraged authors from taking the lone ranger unedited and unvetted route of self-publishing, neither of them considered that the ubiquitous online access to self publishing houses makes it easy to set up an independent publishing house (if you happen to be an editor and have a team to work with).

It seems to me that we have fiction, we've always had fiction and we'll always have fiction. Whether it's a printed book, an electronic file or a podcast. The future of fiction is absolutely brilliant. There are so many more avenues for distribution and so many more mediums that are derived from fiction books. Who knows where fiction will go next?

An audiobook or podcast though not in the same format as a printed book can still be mulled over. Not everyone listens to books in the car during the morning commute. So, it is possible to have an in depth experience with an audible piece of fiction. It's even more possible to get into the whole fiction experience in a wider way because of the online availability of the author and the dialogues authors and readers can have by way of blogs and email. This adds a whole new dimension to fiction. A dimension that needs to be developed.

Perhaps the printed book market is developing into just one niche of fiction consumption. If the number of readers stays the same, then printed book publishers will be lucky. What they need to look at is the rising number of fiction consumers who are not book readers. The digital age hasn't shown us everything yet. There are still a lot of good potential fiction products to be invented and consumed.

completing a novel draft is just the first step

2009-01-20T16:38:00.005-05:00

As I think about my three novel drafts and compare their completeness to what I see other authors do, I am realizing that my drafts are a lot like very detailed outlines with dialogue, events and description. Whether I do a lot of research and make a lot of lists or not, I still have much to do when the draft is finished.

The first novel I've edited three times so far. I moved things around and got them to where I thought they should be. Then I started editing. No edit round so far has taken me all the way through the novel. After my third attempt, I found I needed to move a section further to front. I've also learned that even though the first three pages are critical (and first sentence and paragraph), I can't write that way. I have to put in the first few pages what needs to be there.

As I wrote my third draft, during NaNoWriMo last November, I realized I was just making work for myself. Although I completed the draft in 30 days, that's just the beginning. After that comes cooling off, reading (I can't really read when I'm writing – it slows me down), and editing. Not to mention adding left out plot points and fleshing out characters. And, in the case of my second novel, figuring out how it ends. Yikes!

My first novel I wrote while hurriedly researching for and tracking with diagrams the complex web of societies and cultures I had created. I made lists, bookmarked web pages, and put any stray papers into a folder. Writing the third novel I just made it all up. I did the minimal amount of research fearing I would get sidetracked and keeping in mind David Robbins admonition that "you are the artist - you decide how it goes" (probably paraphrased). So, I just made up whatever I didn't know. I guess that's why it's called fiction.

Either way, researched or not, diagramed or not, what I have at the end of the process is a very rough draft that now needs a lot of love and attention. And a lot more than 30 days.

My New Man

2009-01-18T19:50:00.004-05:00

I've jumped into the vampire craze with Kaeel and some other parts I got for free at Daz3D. Even though it wasn't raining today, I spent the afternoon inside making this scene. He's even got a sort of young Darth Vader thing happening. Darth as vampire, I guess.

He still needs proper lighting and framing. I'm working on candles and I'll probably change his pose. Not sure why turning on the lighting shadows makes everything black. Have to figure that out. He's also a little fragile and too finely tuned for me. I suppose vampires need to look wasted. Would like to beef him up and age him a little. Still. Fun.
Song of the Day: Ultraviolet (Light My Way), U2
(It's so much easier to play a song repeatedly in iTunes as opposed to the old vinyl way. No worries about wearing out the groove, no getting up and replacing the stylus, etc. 'sgreat.)

Repurposing My Blogs

2009-01-17T11:54:00.003-05:00

Since this blog (journal) left AOL, it's been a lot easier for me to post in and personalize. I find I'm writing more posts relevant to creativity here. So, this journal (blog) will be the repository for my creative efforts. As in, my creative work and what's that's like and other related subjects.

Here are some writing posts from my alien drifter blog to get started.

World Beach Project - Join In!

2008-12-26T09:41:00.003-05:00

Be an artist and join with artists around the world. Since December of 2007 a beach art project is being built around the world, created by whoever happens to be on a beach and collects stones. The project is hosted by the Victoria and Albert Museum and is the concept of the artist Sue Lawty. There are 261 entries from Europe and only 96 from North America. Certainly we have lots of excellent beaches here and I'm sure that most all of them have stones of one type or another. Next time I go to the beach I promise to contribute. And you can, too!

getting paid to watch YouTube

2008-12-18T14:40:00.002-05:00

Yep. Some of us are able to swing that. I'm working on a piece that's a Family Feud look alike, so I get to watch lots of Family Feud snippets on YouTube for research. It's only research, you know. I'm working.

24K and holding

2008-11-22T12:15:00.003-05:00

Having a rough time making it to 30,000 words as promised. Have not even made it to 25K. I like the story. I'd rather someone else wrote it and I read it. Anyway, to waste time I've wordled my draft. Too many "well"s and "Yes"s. Oh well, it is after all a draft and, yes, I will be editing it. Feel I have let the team down rather badly by not making 30K by Wednesday and I won't make 40K by Monday. However, all it takes is less than 3K a day until the end of the month and I will make it to 50K. That will have to do.

Monty Python Talks About... Writing

2008-11-20T09:43:00.001-05:00

Can't write? Then watch videos about writing instead. Just thinking this morning that writing a novel this year is a lot like directing a carriage pulled by four runaway horses. Exhilarating and frightening. I can only take so much of it. But it is fun. Promise to get to 30,000 today.