No Longer Updating this Blog

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A few of my favorite things ...

I may have posted this to the wrong blog. And the other post I made probably should have appeared here. You can be the judge and let me know.

cleaning creatively or forward into the past

For at least a year I've been using knitting and crocheting to clean out my (possibly) 10-year stash of yarns and unfinished projects. I had, for example, the remnant of a very expensive heavenly purple cotton yarn I once bought on impulse. I didn't buy a lot of it (see: expensive) and couldn't make anything truly useful. I knit a summer vest and added expensive sculpted silver buttons. They were all ocean themed: fishes, sand dollars, shells. Not practical although they did work as fasteners.

The vest didn't fit. I persisted in wearing it for a couple of summers. I don't know where it is now. Probably in my son's attic waiting for me to shrink into it.

Did you know that nothing is exactly the size
of an iPhone? I stuffed this with two matchboxes
and a Post It Notes pad to get the size right.
Because the only camera I have is in my phone.

I managed to use up the last few bits of the purple yarn today as trim for an iPhone cozy. Because sometimes I don't have any pockets for the phone and I put it in my purse where it rumbles around getting scratched. The screen has two light scratches (that you can't really see unless you hold it at an angle to the light). Anyway, I've been wrapping it up in a silk handkerchief which is okay unless I need to use the handkerchief. Which happens.

To make the cozy, I used up what remained of some Aunt Lydia's No. 3 Fashion thread (which I actually bought for a planned project—as opposed to the dreamy "some day" projects) and the lovely expensive purple yarn.

Results:
1.) I had fun.
2.) Knitting (the body) and crocheting (the edging) kept me from chewing up my cuticles or eating unsuitable food.
3.) Using up the remnants reminded me to be serious about my projects. Because if I don't follow through they haunt me.
4.) I had the satisfaction of finally putting to use some yarn that's been tucked out of sight but not out of mind. Ergo: a little weight off my mind.
5.) I designed and created something unique and expressive. Sure, it's a bit wonky, but the joy of creating—particularly on the fly—outweighs any wonkiness.

The joy of wonkiness is why I continue to use up and finish the old projects. At least the yarn-based ones. I'm nearly done and I've been steadily rewarding myself with a new project each time an old one is completed. A new real project, thoughtfully chosen and carefully executed. And then there's one more result:

6.) I've learned to take projects seriously because time and resources go into them and some of them hang around for a long time, so might as well do it right.

What I'm really doing is exercising my creative muscles in an extreme way by confining myself to what's available. That and making way for new, better projects and more opportunities for wonkiness. All that in a little iPhone bag.

ack

After hours of searching for the perfect sleeveless tee shirt knitting pattern for Lion Brand Recycled Cotton, contemplating pattern design, taking my measurements, and pondering the rectitude of the universe, I made this. It seems a lot more centered and peaceful than I feel.

Having a lot of difficulty accepting life as it is. Hoping for improvement. I believe part of the issue is the wretched humidity and heat outside. Mustn't grumble, though. It was lovely last week right through the weekend with cool and dry nights in the 60s. Change. Can't live with it. Can't live without it.

Who I write like today ...

I write like
Mario Puzo

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Because it's a different author every time I try this. Perhaps I am an emerging novelist.

Not Winter

I intended to make a winter abstract and this came out instead. I miss summer. Those lazy, childhood summers on the beach with a slight breeze, cool waves, and endless sunny days. Or it could be those summers between my high school years that were so lazy and laid back. Hanging out with friends, swimming, lazing in the grass, dreaming of the future—that kind of thing. Bicycles! Yep. I miss all that.

Keeping track and staying motivated

Or maybe it's staying on track and keeping motivated. Either way, I've made a little spreadsheet to list all of the projects I assign myself in my daily round. Not included are all the books I make myself get from the library. I have a goodreads account for that, although not all of the books make the list.

So, here's the crazy stupid header for my little spreadsheet. I can make it only so much fun before it becomes a chore. It serves the purpose and merely opening this puppy each day is enough to get me going. As long as I open it.

Leather, Smoke, and Your Eyes

Pungent odor of smoke and old leather before I dropped off to sleep yesterday. Attempting resolution by making a fake leather thing with words and smoke. Tip of lid to actionfx and Chandra Baker tutorials. My texture is not as impressive as a photo. More satisfying than buying a photo, though. For me, anyway.

Happy 13th!

In case you missed it on my FB Page.

Vintage 1999 Christmas

How I saw it in 1999.

The Elaine Greywalker Daily

A list of headlines from my paper.li daily are supposed to appear above. My "news" paper is a bunch of stuff generated from my twitter stream. Plus, I added in what I hope will be relevant posts from sources like the BBC News and Wired Science. Tomorrow I will know how that worked out for me because the "paper" publishes once every 24 hours. I suppose I could do the same thing on Google and get continuous updates.

I'm a Scribophile

NaNoWriMo recommended Scribophile for year-round writing empowerment. It looks like they have the same fun attitude and wild activity as NaNoWriMo. I have a profile there. Hoping it will be useful.

Working title with temporary cover art.

I continue to work on They Came From the Red Mist. I've made it to 52,905 words. The plan is to write 750 words per day until the 21st or thereabouts with the goal of reaching 70,000. I'll update my count on Scribophile as well as continue to do do my own tracking of words written each day. I made a little text file in Scrivener where I log the date and the total. Not real exciting or dynamic, yet it works.

My monthly newsletter went out yesterday. To subscribe, sign up here. It's an easy way to get a quick look at what I've been up to.

Resistance vs Aversion

I  have spent so much of my life doing the “right” thing, making myself do things and participate in activities (like certain jobs) or hang with people I didn’t like or even intensely hated. I got very good as submersing my feelings and just getting on with it.

The backlash began more than five years ago, while I was employed as a graphic designer for a bank. Or maybe even before that when I found “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron or maybe even further back when my children were young and I ended up on my own with them while my then husband worked in a distant land making tons of tax-free money.

In any case, or even in all cases, the impetus grew in me to yield to my true desires and feelings, growing stronger over time until I can no longer make myself do anything I don’t feel like doing. Some have treated me like a recalcitrant child informing me that “adults” get on with it.

That is as may be.

However, I have also had many so-called “peak” experiences discovering that wonderful feeling of well being when I am in flow, doing what I enjoy, which makes me happy and is congruent with my inner direction. This is most important! When I do these things my blood pressure lowers, I lose the desire for overeating, I am energized and optimistic, and, I am sure, improving the quality of my life as well as lengthening it.

Why would I ever do anything I didn’t like? Anything that didn’t concur with my inner adviser? Anything that was incongruent with my true nature?

There are a lot of reasons. Some of them involved surviving childhood, adolescence, and “making a living.”

Aversion
I am averse to participating in activities that cause my blood pressure to rise, that stress me out, make me unhappy, or put me to sleep. In other words, I don't like things that are bad for me or go against the grain.

Resistance
Resistance is a bit more difficult to recognize. Resistance may come across as dislike, fear, rebellion, zoning out, or temporary amnesia.

To qualify: resistance is not doing something I really enjoy and is good for me. As opposed to aversion which is not wanting to do something I don’t like. Are we clear? Good.

So, to get on with it. When I am in resistance I sometimes get the same feeling as when I dislike something. How to tell the difference? When I dislike an activity that I previously enjoy immensely. That is resistance.

When I am in resistance I have fears — irrational fears, nebulous, unexplained fears. And then I get angry because I know I am resisting.

Resistance can be rebellion. As in, “No! I’m not doing this thing I like to do just because!”

Zoning out happens when I think about or plan to do an activity that is really good for me and that I like a lot. And the amnesia thing can happen when I remember only the bad parts of a great activity or when I forget that I have a lot of resistance around a particular activity.

To Illustrate Resistance
During the last year I lived in Richmond VA I discovered Yogaville. Going there was a spiritual and aesthetic experience — a double whammy because aesthetic experiences are spiritual.

I decided to return the following month, showing up for meditation at noon at the Lotus, having lunch, and driving back. The month after that, on the day I had planned a visit, I felt angry and irritable. All I could think about was the long drive (1.5 hours one way) and all the other things I had to do. So I didn’t go.

It didn’t take long before I felt horrible. All month I noticed the sinking feeling and lack of spirituality that came from not visiting.

The next month on the planned day, I forgot about the resistance and was about to cancel the trip when I remembered that all the negative feelings were just a part of the process. I’m not sure where all this crap comes from. Some of it comes from the anxiety of being afraid that the thing I really like to do will not happen as planned.

Eventually I saw all the feelings I had: anger, frustration, fear, and zoning out as a self-defeating way to keep myself from having a wonderful and renewing spiritual experience — something I loved and which was good for me.

Novelling
All of this to tell you that I have resisted writing all day. I will now go and finally write because I have caught up on all the niggley things I’ve put off for weeks. There’s really nothing left on today’s list but to write.

And here’s another form of resistance: preferring to do things that are boring IN COMPARISON TO the thing I need, want, and plan to do that is good for me.

Oh! And here’s another dumb thing I do: put off actually doing the thing I want to do because the anticipation of doing the fun thing feels so good. I don’t know. I might be crazy.

Caveat: these “fun things” generally involve creativity like writing.

Gak! Why am I still here? Think of how many words I could have written if I had worked on the novel instead of blathering.

Something I worked on and finished today instead
of writing my novel.

Farmer's Market Fresh Greens Salad Recipe

6-8 cups of washed and trimmed market greens (mine included bok choy, arugala, spinach, and assorted field greens; no lettuce of any kind)
2 limes, juiced
2X as much extra virgin cold pressed olive oil as lime juice
2 dashes of Allspice
2-3 dried mint leaves
6-10 dried cherries
1-2 T broken cashews
3 oz (or more) salmon or tuna or chicken

Mix lime juice, olive oil, Allspice and mint leaves, stirring to distribute as evenly as possible. Pour over fresh greens. Toss thoroughly. Plate a portion of the greens, top with salmon, cherries, and nuts. Toss again.

The salmon was actually a little strong. Might have been better to toss it with olive oil or some of the dressing first. Tuna might work better. I suppose you could also top the greens with diced steak. I paired this with Teavana Sweet Oolong Revolution tea (which apparently is no longer available unless your local shop still has some in the bins).

Eat it fresh! Not as good the second day. The bok choy begins to get bitter.

Gadgets for Living Off the Grid

I revisited my fascination with living off grid today because I'm moving next Saturday and I have nowhere to go. Except, perhaps, to my tiny third acre of desert outside of Belen NM. The major sticking point for me is that I have a delightful iMac which I need in order to breathe.

Solar Power
Anyway, I got sucked into this really interesting web site of a company that makes real apocalyptic solar-power generators with military versions. Or, at least, to something they call military specs including camouflage coloring. They make neat backpack solar chargers as well as survival packages.

This led to other versions of solar power, including this nifty modular item from Cabela's that enables solar panel and battery storage chaining. (Watch the video!) They have a cool Wind Generator that you can plug into a battery storage unit. Wind and solar! You're covered!

I found an interesting article about African's who live off the grid because they have to. And a cool company called Bare Foot Power that makes solar-power gadgets with Africa in mind. Right now, on this planet, ordinary people are using solar power to get along day by day. Encouraging!

For those of you who like to make your own, there's this guy. 

Accessories

While I was at Cabela's I revisited the Shower, Toilets, and Accessories section aka "other ways to poop and pee." At one time I considered living in a van, so having ways to eliminate human wastes was a vital element. Unfortunately, I don't feel I can seriously consider van living. I like my comfort too much (i.e., running water, comfy bed, shower, desk space, etc.) to take the plunge. Also, the paranoia would take away much of the smugness of being able to live off the beaten path. There's a Yahoo! group for that, if you're interested. Most of the women swear by the Lady J.

Shelter
As to the shelter part, once you have the power and the waste issue resolved, any kind of structure can serve as a house. So, why not Darryl Hannah's environmentally friendly tipi? While you're there, check out the solar powered boat which looks big enough to live on. Theoretically, I could drive to NM, gut my car, add extensions, and live in that. Or maybe I could sell it and use a truck instead.

Water
Water is the unresolved problem. My little third acre of desert has no water and piping in municipal water would be self-defeating. I haven't found any solutions to porting water. Sure, there are purifiers, solar showers, and containers. I think you can even put a little tent over a hole in the desert and distill water when it's hot enough. Although that little tent only generates enough to slake the thirst.

Off-grid water supply usually involves deciding to settle close to a water source or digging a well, which also involves choosing an optimum site. Here's the beginning of a three part Mother Earth News story on off-grid water systems.

Conclusion
Okay. That was interesting and chewed up an afternoon. Don't think I'll be living off-grid anytime soon. Good to know I could, though, if I wanted to ... if I had to and preferred that to being city-style homeless or renting a room from one of my kids. As my Mom says, "Privacy is important."

Keeping up with Kat

Kat and I met on the internet in the mid-90's. She was blogging under "Kat Litter" and I had just created my new last name: Greywalker. We both thought we were the only ones. She contacted me first and we been friendly every since. I've followed her career ... and read the books - which are really good. That is saying something because I don't normally read paranormal books, particularly ones which include vampires.

In the article, there's a bit a backstory which I didn't know about and a nice summary of how Seattle inspires her stories.

Seattle Wrote.: Seattle Author: Doing What You Love: With an English teacher for a father, it's not much of a surprise that author Kat Richardson started writing as a child.

Rock Dove - Pigeon, er, Mourning Dove

Result of this morning's random fascination with Griffins/Gryphons and Pigeons. Mourning Doves hang out around here particularly in the winter when they feed on the remains of the missed sunflowers and other seeds that fall from the feeder. It's a really nice feeder that keeps out squirrels for real.

Derived from a Wikipedia Commons photo.

The Ravages of Abuse

it's like a thick space suit that's attached to my skin.
like sprayed on foam with a special shield that gives me Brain cloud
like a snow suit with just my face hanging out
and it's always night in here

and I'm going for a long long long long trek who knows when i'll get there
so I can take this thing off
—1999

072912

by Elaine Greywalker, just in case there was any doubt

Not sure where this comes from. Possibly from the Flower-A-Day series and some of the fun stuff I've been doing with Illustrator.