|The Fool, Circle of Life Tarot deck|
© 2008 Lo Scarabeo
Following each fallow period, I took refuge in a job for job's sake—primarily to make money. Each time the job was a little closer to my true nature. This time, I'm resisting the "jane job." I'm trying to find a way to generate income that will give me joy and let me make a contribution doing what I love to do. Hopefully, to avoid another fallow period. I'm tired of starting over. And I want to do work that lets me use both sides of my creative nature, not just the conceptual, outside, organizing part.
This time my personal low cycle has coincided with the world's depression, making the fallowness twice as long. This time there is no safe haven. I don't have the luxury of disengaging completely and cocooning. This time, although I have been helped by family, it's been mostly the government there to catch me. They catch neither gently nor with loving concern, patience, or understanding.
Where there is apogee there must be perigee. Where there is nadir there must be apex. Any gambler or Taoist can tell you that. I'm gambling that all the effort I've put into developing work congruent to my true nature will pay off. That I'll be able to generate income from work I love and feel called to do. I'm not sure exactly how that's going to happen. I'm leaving that part to the powers that be.
|The Sun, Mantegna Tarot Deck|